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Relativity
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Relativity |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Relativity If I travel quickly and return With haste to where I started long ago, What time will pass and what lies there to learn ... If I travel quickly and return? At lightning speed, I think the mind must yearn To comprehend the facts I cannot know, If I travel quickly and return With haste to where I started long ago. < !signature--> Pete Imagination is more important than knowledge Albert Einstein Hey, Look #700  [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 07-20-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Pete Rawlings - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
I think the answer is M = mc squared... A cute poem. My idea of relativity is: If I leave the house for an extended amount of time, hopefully my inlaws wll be gone when I return. I have no changes to suggest. Bob <>< |
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Pete, Just a little suggestion about the 3rd line. To me 'what lies there to learn' sounded awkward. To me, the line sounds longer than its ten syllables, which is accentuated by the '...' which I don't think is necessary here. Just a little suggestion to consider. As for the topic, I think astro-physics has a sublime aspect to it that makes it a somewhat haunting or at a least unsettling topic for poetry. -Tim -Tim |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Bob, "My idea of relativity is: If I leave the house for an extended amount of time, hopefully my inlaws wll be gone when I return." ROTFLMAO I like that a lot  Thanks for the laugh.Tim, Thanks for your input. The '...' probably isn't necessary but I put it there to emphasize that line 4 really is a continuation of line 3. Also, line 4 is missing its first syllable so the directed pause helps the flow a little. I don't know, maybe it doesn't work as I intended. Thanks, Pete |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
hmmm. because i liked the "what lies there to learn" very well, but thought the part about passed time, well, that it didnt really say much. because, it seems to me a phrase like that suggests long lengths of time the speaker has passed through and not noticed, and the journey you're dealin with was short. congrats on #700  be careful, or you'll find the big 1000 creepin up on ya when ya didnt notice  luv Elyse |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
pete- i'm trying to understand this one. it flows nicely, like something meant to be recited aloud. the point is, what is the meaning of the several meanings possible here? obviously you are contemplating the relativity of time. i guess that i'm not deep enough to get this one. maybe a little explanation is in order, or maybe i need a little sleep. |
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Not A Poet Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885Oklahoma, USA |
Elyse and Roxane, Thanks for responding ladies. I'm sorry about the obscurity of this one. It is more or less a sequel to Curvature, this time dealing more specifically with the Theory of Relativity. I'll offer a very brief description of this particular aspect, for those who may be interested. Basically, the theory states that time appears to run slower for a moving body than for a stationary one. And the slowing becomes mor pronounced as the relative speed increases, up to the speed of light. This is a gross simplification but hopefully sufficient for current purposes. With this known, the journey may have been a long one indeed. The important thing is it must have been at very high speed. If so, then the elapsed time from my viewpoint will be different from yours as you awaited my return (I hope you waited )Well, again I apologize for writing something a little obscure. That's not my usual style but it just seemed to fit nicely with the triolet form. And, I apologize in advance for the next one  coming soon.Thanks for reading Pete P.S. The real effort with this one was to try to minimize the effect of the repetition, primarily by making line 4 flow with the first three, then the last 4 to flow together. I hope it worked, at least to some extent. [This message has been edited by Not A Poet (edited 07-24-2000).] |
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