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Critical Analysis #1

You, My Friend

SlyOne
Junior Member

since 2000-06-24

Posts 16

0 posted 2000-07-16 01:21 PM

You My Friend
You, My friend, always there to lend a hand.
You, My friend, always there to listen and understand.
You, My friend, never tell me you are busy, you never ask "can this wait"
You are my friend, you are there when I need you, you do not hesitate.
You, My friend have giving me comfort when I was having a bad day.
You, My friend have always been there to lend a shoulder and say
"Everything will be OK "
You, My friend have never been judgmental.
You, My friend, always gentle, offering advise and opinions, Yet never overbearing or critical.
Its very rare to find a someone to share your thoughts, feelings, dreams and hopes.
I have found such a friend in you, and for me the weight of the world is now easier to cope.
Our friendship is a special love, anyone can see.
Our friendship is based on respect, love and trust, and YOU mean so much to me.....

Brad
Member Ascendant

since 1999-08-20

Posts 5705
Jejudo, South Korea

1 posted 2000-07-16 11:22 PM

Praise of a friend is always a respectable theme in poetry. It's just really hard to do well.

In many languages of the world 'you' is generally considered to be impolite. I believe that you hadn't asserted the 'my friend' in this, the same thing would have have happened here. It would have become accusative rather than laudatory. The problem with this however is that the my friend direct address is rather overdone these days. As a result, I'm not sure this particular phrasing is strong enough for the anaphoric repetition you've got going here.

Another problem I see is that you seem to see this relationship as mutual but the poem's actor is the 'friend'; nowhere does the speaker reciprocate. I wonder if you might try integrating this mutuality into the poem along with concreate images of that actual actions being done.

Just an opinion,
Brad

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