Critical Analysis #1 |
short and sweet but i tried |
SunShine913
since 2001-08-19
Posts 211Italy but from NC |
I cover my ears and close my eyes the world stops and yet time flies *You only live once, so live it to the fullest and have fun! |
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© Copyright 2001 Andrea L. Figueroa - All Rights Reserved | |||
warmhrt Senior Member
since 1999-12-18
Posts 1563 |
Cute little poem, but I would change a couple of things. First...eliminate the "ands", and replace "the world stops" (which it doesn't, essentially), with "my world stops". It would then read something like this: I cover my ears close my eyes my world stops yet time flies "It is wisdom to know others; |
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kaile
since 2000-02-06
Posts 5146singapore |
indeed, life goes on whether we like it or not... this gave me a smile |
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Midnitesun
since 2001-05-18
Posts 28647Gaia |
I like short poems. Yes, time flies, but I'm glad the world doesn't really stop. |
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Allan Riverwood
since 2001-01-04
Posts 3502Winnipeg |
I'm in accord with warmhrt, except I don't think you should change it to "my world stops." It seems less all-encompassing that way. Nice write though. Kudos. ~Allan People call me a madman, but I am not mad at anyone. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Me, I'd probably go this route: I cover my ears, close my eyes... the world stops; yet time flies. walk easy... jwesley [This message has been edited by jwesley (edited 08-30-2001).] |
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