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The Kiss
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Kiss |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
The Kiss That night he walked the battlements, alone, And lusted for his wife. His enemies, And they were many, he cared little for; If they came near, he slew them. But his wife, So lovely and as distant as when first The dickerings of blood and politics had brought Her, thrown in with a province, to his bed-- The thought of his wife tortured him. What more Could he have done, what more could he yet do To win that woman? Tenderness and gifts, Appeals and tears, nothing could move her soul To pity or to love him. She was cold To his embrace, like wood she lay. Of course He'd had his will upon her many times-- Children they'd had, though none had grown to age-- But exerting will was rape, he wanted love, To see in her that wild desire, that need, For him, that he had always felt for her. One kiss of passion... He shrugged it from his mind. A man was never meant to have all things. Power and wealth and fear from many men, Scorn from his wife, perhaps that was the deal. He descended to his chambers, vast and gloomy, That dark and curtained bedroom where he'd try Another night to sleep, and not dream *her*. And there his wife, as though another woman, Wooed him in earnest, asked for his forgiveness, And as he stood in wonder and in joy, Spoke love to him, and drew him to the bed. She threw her arms about him, and her lips Unforced sought his. He felt her lips, her tongue, Her breasts, and they were soft; and in her eyes He saw true passion, felt within her kiss A fierce desire that would not let him go. That kiss caught fire, insisting and unending, And he grew hard, while in his heart a great Amazement, and a gratitude, were mixed With driving lust that drew him in to her. Perhaps he saw the motion of her hand. Perhaps he sensed the movement of armed men, From curtained corners, and yet plunged on uncaring, So close and yet so far from what he'd dreamed. Perhaps he tried to rise, but was imprisoned Within her legs, her thighs, her arms, her hair, Until the swords thrust into him as he Thrust into her, and as he died... he died. And yet I wonder if, in that last moment, A thrill of triumph cancelled out the pain. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ted Reynolds - All Rights Reserved | |||
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i love the story of this poem. it is wrenching and yet redemptive. my thoughts are that he could not win his wife over because he persisted so, but when he gave up, gave in, she came to him, as did his enemies. the last two lines sort of editorialized the situation, but it is still a double-sided issue. which meant more? the life he had been successful in, or the last few moments of surrender as he died? the one thing that i would change is to write it as a prose piece. with something as detailed as this piece, you risk losing details when you write it as a poem. there are so many interesting things that could be elaborated on in this poem. what about the dead children? the intensity of the years he spent wanting this woman? the time before they were married? the day he realized that he loved her? this is truly a great story, and i think it might make a great short story. of course, any way it goes, it was a wonderful, exciting read. one more thing: did the wife have something to do with the ambush? |
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Ted Reynolds Member
since 1999-12-15
Posts 331 |
Yes. |
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
Ted. I have to agree with Roxane. This was a terrific read, and the form of poetry certainly leaves it with a bit restricted. I think that the wife knew his attackers... seems to be too much of a coincedence. Excellent work. YeshuJah*) |
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eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
Very interesting story line. Reminds me of Samson. Except without the revenge. Of course his wife set him up. It was the only way to distract him to the point he could be ambushed. I think she must have been my ex-wife. I always wondered who she remarried. James |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Hi Ted ...a very intoxicating story, that was some kiss ...during the times of arranged marriages love was not a factor especially falling in love during the marriage ...what changed her from being cold in mind and body to displaying such passion for him in the end? Seduced him, lured him into letting down his guard long enough to fall prey to the trap she had set for him. His longing to see love and lust for him in her eyes perhaps blinded him to her true motive. A warrior at heart, his excellence on the battlefield, he would not have let himself fall prey to such a trap unless his trust in her was unquestionable in his mind. Maybe she had been waiting for this chance all along. My amateur interpretation  I guess you could say I liked it very much. debbie debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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