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The Glory of Life
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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The Glory of Life |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA 
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Humanistic failings stand without debate in this never ending flux of insolence, degredation, and hate. Dietistical desire force conflict and strife changing forever the face of one's humble, peaceful life. Power hungry despots killing without shame politiking the world and slickly shifting blame. Whining world citizens impotently complaining while outside their window the glory of life is reigning.  Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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| © Copyright 2000 JP Burns - All Rights Reserved | |||
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YeshuJah Malikk Member
since 2000-06-29
Posts 263 |
This is a straight shooter. I especially like the last two stanzas. So true. So true. 'If today is the first day of the rest of my life then what the hell was yesterday?' YeshuJah*) |
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eldridgejackson Member
since 2000-04-30
Posts 91 |
This poem reminds me of the verse in the bible that says faith without works is dead. You can complain all you want but if you do nothing about it then shame on you. I liked it. James |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
That was kind of the feeling I was feeling when I wrote this James. Glad some of the original intent was translatable! Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Sorry, but this doesn't really work for me -- the repetitious stanzaic structure seem like lecturing to me and it never seems to go anywhere. You move from idea to idea but nothing that shows me or makes me feel what you're saying. If the idea is indeed about action then why not show action instead of a simple description? Brad |
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JP Senior Member
since 1999-05-25
Posts 1343Loomis, CA |
Actually Brad, the intent was not action, the idea behind this work was indeed "don't complain if you are not going to do something about it", but as a descriptive peice - not as a guide on what to do about the world's problems. I'm sorry this did not do it for you. Yesterday is ash, tomorrow is smoke; only today does the fire burn. JP "Everything is your own damn fault, if you are any good." E. Hemmingway |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Hi JP I liked this...straight and to the point. It is true, many people sit on the sidelines complaining but won't stand up and voice their opinions outloud, nothing will change if people don't speak out. "politiking" I know my english is not very good but someone this word doesn't seem right lol. debbie debbie Think of saying "I Love You" as always being overdue. Love is a gift, not an obligation. unknown |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Fair enough. But, then, isn't this poem complaining in the same way that it describes the complainers? Actually, if you could make that a bit clearer, that would make this poem more interesting -- for me at least. Brad |
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jbouder Member Elite
since 1999-09-18
Posts 2534Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash |
JP: I think your purpose for writing this poem might be better served by developing your theme. The generalizations seem more like whining than a sharp rebuke. Don't be afraid to point fingers. "Humanistic failings ..." ... whose failings? Examples of insolence, degredation and hate would be very helpful. You confused me a little bit with "dietistical". Are you speaking of primal needs (the need for food ... diet) or are you speaking of an assembly of leaders (a diet ... a meeting or assembly usually to decide a course of action). Is there a religious allusion in there? I think the poem was a shot at a number of things, including apathy. But I think (actually I know) you can do a much better job than you did here. In form you poem is actually very much like the first 13 verses of Zephaniah Chapter 1. The Minor Prophet was speaking out against corruption of the religious leaders (vss. 2-6), the political leaders (vss. 7-9), the merchants (vss. 10, 11) and finally, the apathetic common men (vss. 12, 13). I would suggest you give it a read (don't worry ... I'm not trying to convert you) ... Zephaniah actually develops his theme very well. I think you've seen the many problems that contribute to the sorry state of many parts of our world but I don't think you've brought us along for the ride. I look forward to seeing some of the sites. Jim |
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