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Critical Analysis #1
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Words
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Words |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA 
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Words can make us cry, or they can make us laugh, They let us dream, They let us speak, Words can joins us, or they can break us, They make our dreams come to life, words are the universal communication language, they bring us joy or sadness, They can put us at top, or down in the rubbles, Once something is said, it cannot be called back, They inspire us, They boost us up or they bring us down, words can show love, they can ignite hope, they bring hate, Watch what you say, or it might come back to haunt you, Words have recorded past and will foretell future, Words are the tool, which we use to describe how we feel, Without words, even the bravest of souls are unable to do anything, we are chained by words, chained so we can communicate each other, tell each other how much we hate them or love them, our thoughts are filled with words, so are the things around us, Words, Words, Words, oh how I adore them. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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| © Copyright 2000 Ronil B Tataria - All Rights Reserved | |||
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LarBear Member
since 2000-06-23
Posts 138Kingston, New York |
I have never thought of words in such that way. You put the words in quite the prospective. LarBear |
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Xeonox, Your poem does express the power of the written word that many writers have felt. I'd drop the last line how "oh how I adore them." "Words, words, words" would be a better finish. Also, "communication language" the communion of words might be a more powerful image. Just a suggestion. Also maybe something more about being chained by words, you have said in what ways words are wonderful but maybe say something more about the darkside of discourse, its inability to covey the inchoacy and fluidity of emotion and thought. Anyway, interesting work -Tim |
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Honeybee Member Ascendant
since 1999-12-26
Posts 5372Ontario, CANADA |
This has my vote, it will be a great addition to the book, very well written  Actually, I disagree with Tim, I loved the last two lines:"Words, words, words, oh how I adore them" That is exactly how I feel, all poets adore words and expression. I say keep the last two lines. But, yes, also take Tim's opinion into consideration as well. Take care, Melissa Honeybee |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
This is a great idea for a poem but I think you should spend a little time on finding the words do what you say rather than describing what they do. Right now this is how you feel rather than what makes you feel those things. Do you see what I'm aiming at? Just an opinion, Brad |
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Xeonox
since 2000-04-01
Posts 1764CA, USA |
I have changed some of the contents of the poem but have kept the orginial meaning it it. Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create). |
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Clara Junior Member
since 2000-05-27
Posts 21England, but moving to Sweden this year |
First off, I can barely write my own stuff let alone critique other peoples, so expect little from me  lol"Words can joins us," I think 'joins' should be 'join' ? "we are chained by words, chained so we can communicate each other," I think a word is missing here, should it read "we are chained by words, chained so we can communicate with each other," ? "tell each other how much we hate them or love them," Is the word 'each' needed here? Would 'others' not make the line make more sense rather than 'each other' ? Anyway, those are just nit-picky lil things I liked the poem, and agree that you should leave the last line. Perhaps as Brad says a little more explaination would be good too though. Clara The quiet lil English one |
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m3jay Junior Member
since 2000-06-14
Posts 12 |
it was very good, the only thing thats i think is a little too much, is when you say "words are the universal communication language". i got what you were trying o point out, but it just doesnt sound right, well, good luck!! |
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