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My Perseverance Challenge
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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My Perseverance Challenge |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
My Perseverance Challenge Silent images grace corridors of white. Institutionalized, dark shadows encroach my invalid heart. Anticipating death, paid orderlies run to bedside manner. Their announcement confirms, "Life support systems have failed!" Called relatives grieve in deep agony-- Like a bubonic plague, fate is covered up with sterile blankets. Rushed out revolving doors, death gloats victory by enlightening my perseverance challenge. -Robert E. Michaud Jr.- "Written for my new internet friend, Forrest, who challenges death as part of his life's profession." [This message has been edited by Lighthousebob (edited 06-22-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Robert E. Michaud Jr. - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
very interestingly put, bob. the only thing, i have trouble following the "me" in the poem. it seems at first the "me" is the patient, but then at the end, it seems as though the "me" could be the custodian or some other outside observer. a little enlightenment please? luv Elyse |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Elyse: The "me" references the patient, the reader of the poem, at the beginning and at the end. I believe that the confusion may be with the word "custodial?" The custodial challenge is with the patient. The patient is trying to keep in custody what liitle they have left... ultimately their own life. I hope this helps to explain. Bob <>< |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
ohhhhhh. i get it now  |
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Poet deVine
Administrator
Member Seraphic
since 1999-05-26
Posts 22612Hurricane Alley |
It flows nicely and I do like it.  |
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Cowgirl Jane New Member
since 2000-06-15
Posts 8 |
Nice work. I love your use of "bedside manner" as a place. The title has spunk, but I'm afraid I took the word "custodial" a little too literally before I read your comment (I thought maybe it was written from the perspective of a hospital janitor). The images and ideas you have juxtaposed are a powerful combo. And good use of passive voice to create a sense of dis-ease, alienation, powerlessness. |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
 Alright, OK... You have challenged my perseverance! Does this make more sense?Thanks soooo much for the insight! Bob <>< Besides, Forrest challenges my perseverance more than my custodial anyways... |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
I was going to let you off the hook with the short lines (far too much of that these days) but this poem is only half done. You start out a little vague (but it got my attention) but leave us from beginning to end with the same static scene. Expand on this and show the fight for life more clearly -- for as many people as possible. It's okay for a poem to end in death but it's got to show the real work that goes into fighting it -- almost a creation of satisfaction in that fighting. Just an opinion, Brad |
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Lighthousebob Member Elite
since 2000-06-14
Posts 4725California |
Brad, I confirm. Life is too much of a struggle to end it with a one liner. I'm seeing scenes from ER. Thanks for your insight.Bob <>< |
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mysticharm Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 189Canada |
Hi Rob Your poem touched me in a way I find difficult to explain in english. So, please bear with me for a moment, I will have to use single words and I'm not so sure they will reflect correctly the emotions I feel. An emptiness, the feeling of being alone and yet not, fear of that being my last conscious thought or what I see, sadness, I pray I will slip away in a peaceful sleep bright with the colors of a dream. I hope this will make sense to you. Any poem that evokes strong emotion, is an excellent poem because it was written from strong emotions. I liked this very much.  This is a time when I wish I could express myself in english better. Never underestimate the Power of Purpose. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That's why it's called the 'Present' unkn |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
LightHouseBob I`m flattered that I have a poem written by you dedicated to me. In reality the dying process is nothing like you see portrayed on T.V. It's just a kind of fading away . Much has been accomplished in the area of death with dignity. Ministering to the families needs as well as the patients. My approach to terminal illness is to treat the person as though they were my mother or wife etc. comfort, cleanliness and pain control being formost when all were doing is prolonging the dying process. Very nice poem and thanks for the dedication. your friend forrest |
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