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She and I
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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She and I |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
I am not what I want to be Just like She Is not what She wants to be Just like me Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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| © Copyright 2000 uta waller - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Short and sweet and oh so complete. Let`s have another I`m still thirsty. Change is hard but can be done if you believe in free will. So why don`t you be together. What I`m saying may be unrelated to what your trying to say. If so I apologize. It just feels like a fading relationship. Write us some more. your friend forrest s |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
hi lotharingia-- i really liked this, you used a great format here. i read this as each person saying he/she would like to be like the other. we often love and admire others for qualities we see in them that we lack (or think we lack). the "she" in the middle of the poem kinda bothers me, but i don't see how you could change it. i keep wanting to read the poem not only as "i am not what i want to be....just like she is not what she wants to be....just like me", but also as "i am not what i want to be....i want to be like (her)....she is not what she wants to be....she wants to be just like me", but the pronoun doesn't quite work there, no matter which one you choose. i'm assuming you're intending the reader to read it like that? it's a minor point, i guess, and probably nothing you haven't thought of already. i think it still works with "she" in there. very well done! thanks for sharing this with us. jenni |
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
Hi forrest, I'm really glad you liked my poem! You came up with a different interpretation from what I had in mind, but that's cool. Poems (and other art forms) are subjective, I think. They mean what they mean to you. And it's always interesting to find out how other people see them. Thanks!  Jenni, You are right with what you say about the poem. I was thinking of two people who both want to be like the other one. At first I had it in two parts, like this: I am not what I want to be I want to be Just like Her She Is not what She wants to be She wants to be Just like me But then I decided to get rid of the repetition and the "her" (in spite of the pronoun difficulty) precisely because this version gives more opportunities, since you can read it as "I am not what I want to be, so I'm like she is, because she isn't what she wants to be either, which makes her like me". But you can also still read it as "I want to be her and she wants to be me", except, of course with the muddling of her/she. I considered the confusing aspect her to add to the "confusion" of the two people in the poem. And I was thinking that it could also be taken as: I am not what (I don't know what/who I am) but I want to be (I want to exist); she is not what (she doesn't know what/who she is) but she wants to be (to exist), like me. Again with the fragmentation highlighting the aspect of confusion. If you still follow me ... Oh, and thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed it! Lotharingia "For God's sake, he's a poet. Poets are meant to feel miserable. Otherwise, what the hell are they here for? What are they going to write about?" Tom Holland |
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taramw Senior Member
since 2000-06-08
Posts 738 |
Uta... such imagery with this poem. It speaks volumes. I would perhaps like to see it read as: I am not What I want to be Just like She Is not What She wants To be Just like me Maybe it is a little more stilted, but I like it this way!!  What do you think? Great work |
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