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the pleasures of youth
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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the pleasures of youth |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
any criticism would be welcome as i am new here and always open to it say to me that the pleasures of youth pass away surely i can't wait for them to have you forgotten in all your nostalgia what they were? were the pleasures the scars diligently cut into soft skin watch the white curves smile at me and sometimes spit out red seeds or wasn't antipathy some grace at least a better name for hate and what a pleasure to feel it so much i was certainly enchanted by my torture i knew what it was to suffer i think i felt the pain even before the wound yet you knew when i went to the hospital that you couldn't be held responsible thank you so much for my shambles pleasures of youth disperse now please for you celebrity is spurious leave me with my thread bare soul i'll cradle it in my arms like a pretty child and have it at least mean something pleasures of youth your trials are cruel and i capitulate to you if it's expiation of some form then i know that it's true "youth is wasted on the young" |
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| © Copyright 1999 roxane - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Wolfgang Member
since 1999-05-24
Posts 124Hamilton, Ont. Canada |
Commas and punctuation marks is about the only thing that (perhaps) needs some attention here. As far as your writing is concerned, I think it is absoloutely a great piece. (Did you leave them out on purpose?) |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
thank you thank you thank you for your insight and time. I would have to say that the main reason that i don't use many punctuation marks is either the fact that i have a general disregard for my poems and the fact that when I am writing, my thoughts seem to go too fast to be mechanically sound in my punctuation so I do apologize. I really do appreaciate your comments. After the sort of week that I had, it pleases me so much to hear something good about my writing. Thank you. ------------------ roxane "come night come darkness for you cannot come too soon or stay too long in such a place as this" dickens |
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