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Beyond the Garden's Edge
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Beyond the Garden's Edge |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania 
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Beyond the Garden’s Edge If you should ever wander forth Beyond the garden’s edge And leave this place of bounty love Where we have laid our heads Then I shall never wish to breathe The perfume of a rose Nor gather blossoms for my eyes Nor worship joy’s repose For life would vanish if you left This nest of Eden home This space profuse with radiant hues Below God’s azure dome Without your love, I’d never more Recline in petals soft To study midnight canopies Of planets posed aloft If you should disappear one day Beyond the primrose hedge For want of just one wishful step Outside the garden’s edge I’d never care to turn an ear To warbler’s lullaby Nor would I raise my eyes again To wonders of the sky I’d never visit with a star Except to ask it why Elizabeth Santos [This message has been edited by Elizabeth Santos (edited 06-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elizabeth Santos - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
ms elizabeth, you have an amazing talent. you have that rare gift for rhyming that stays pretty and important to what youre trying to say. that is SO hard for me, and i applaud your ability to trap such lovely expressions on paper. luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
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PoetasterD Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 42Florida |
Elizabeth, I have to agree with Elyse. You truley do have a talent. This poem is absolutely beautiful! The words flow so smoothly and the imagery is so vivid and pleasing. I wish I had the ability to convey a theme or feeling in a poem so well, while at the same time mantaining such splendid rhythm, rhyme, and meter. It is truely a gift! Best wishes, Poetaster D |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
elizabeth-- you really like this format, don't you?  this is another wonderful piece, elizabeth. small typo in the second stanza, i don't think there should be an apostrophe in "petals." i liked your closing lines here, set off by themselves, i thought this worked really well here.thanks for another beautiful read! jenni |
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Elizabeth Santos Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269Pennsylvania |
Elyse Poetaster, Thanks for reading and commenting. Your words are very encouraging and in fact overwhelming Liz Jenni, Thank you again, Jenni for your suggestions and I am humbled that you like this one as well. I never plan a format Whichever way the first line comes out, I stick with that. Thanks for the comments Liz |
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