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lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

0 posted 2000-06-04 04:33 PM

Images of you

where memory was
they mirror themselves
forever in my eyes
preying on
my sanity
my happiness
my pretty lies

peppermint35
Senior Member

since 2000-05-28

Posts 1106
Texas, USA

1 posted 2000-06-05 02:41 AM

Wow.....you have made a few lines speak volumes......I really got a jolt of recognition from this one....brings back images for me, too. Hope to see some more very soon.

Peppermint
Life is a Wheel

Poertree
Senior Member

since 1999-11-05

Posts 1359
UK

2 posted 2000-06-05 05:34 AM

I was afraid at first that this might be one of those "oh so clever" poems which seems to say a lot but actually says very little.

It isn't.

You've done an extremely effective job here. There's just enough to tease the reader into thinking hard, but not enough to make it dead end obvious in an instant; more possibilities become apparent after a few readings. Also i really liked the way in which the Title is drawn in and becomes an important part of the poem (Ted Hughes does that a lot in his poetry) ...

.. well thought out and well presented ..

well done

Philip

lotharingia
Senior Member

since 2000-06-04

Posts 897
saarbruecken, Germany

3 posted 2000-06-06 06:08 AM

Hey, thanks. It's really good to get some feedback. I tried to get practically everyone I know to read my poems and tell me what they think, but most of them never even read them and the others said stuff like "no one reads poems nowadays" or "your poems are too morbid and violent" or "too gothic". Intelligent comments really make a difference!

Xeonox

Senior Member

since 2000-04-01

Posts 1764
CA, USA

4 posted 2000-06-07 02:02 AM

short and sweet poem. You have said in few lines which takes other an eternity.

Ronil (What I say I live by and what I live by is what I create).

jenni
Member

since 1999-09-11

Posts 478
Washington D.C.

5 posted 2000-06-08 11:39 PM

lotharingia--

i liked this piece better than your other poem "falling," although stylistically they're pretty similar. your last line here is excellent, really adds a lot to the piece.

thanks for sharing this with us!

jenni

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