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Storm of Love
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Storm of Love |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
Lightning flashes illuminate your face As you smile, throw back your head And drink in the rain You shake out your hair Scattering drops everywhere Your eyes ask me to share your joy Seeing you like this, playful as a child I hold out my arms to warmly enfold You nestle now, snug on my chest Our eyes meet and lock As we hungrily gaze deep Lightning flashes again Another storm brewing This one from within. Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
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| © Copyright 2000 Lavenia Crosley - All Rights Reserved | |||
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lotharingia Senior Member
since 2000-06-04
Posts 897saarbruecken, Germany |
You have a vivid imagery in this poem. This is really well done, I especially like your description of wild joy and the way you equate a storm with passion, unbounded, wild and reckless as they both are. I feel as though I'm there! |
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PoetasterD Junior Member
since 2000-06-03
Posts 42Florida |
I have to admit, I had NO idea where this one was going. I don't know why, with a title like "Storm of Love" but the ending (Which is my favorite part) threw me for a loop. As I scrolled down I just expected to keep going and then, BANG, the ending. Believe me, I can relate to the storm brewing within! Best wishes, Poetaster D In reference to my poem "She & Her", She and Her are two different people. "She" is the person that I am with right now, physically, "Her" refers to the person that I am with in my dreams. "She" doesn't know that I dream about "Her"........ Thanks for the reply! Best wishes, Poetaster D [This message has been edited by PoetasterD (edited 06-05-2000).] |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
This starts off okay but the ending is entirely predictable. Realize that almost always the first reversal you come up with is the same one as everybody else. I would say that you need to expand it, explore the theme , ask yourself questions. Why are they in the rain? Is there a connection, I mean a physical tactile connection, between passion and lightning? Possibly -- it's called fear. Ultimately, and I'm going to pen a new word here, I think you need to 'complexify' this piece, Just an opinion, Brad |
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peppermint35 Senior Member
since 2000-05-28
Posts 1106Texas, USA |
I appreciate all these comments, truly...I see that I have not been able to make my message clear...possibly because I wrote it for a specific forum, where the meaning was all too clear. Though explanations might not be necessary, I actually wrote this for a Beauty and the Beast fan club (we are all obsessed!!!) and it depicts a scene from one of the episodes. But, I can see if it is going to work, to stand by itself, so to speak, it needs more work... thanks again. Peppermint Life is a Wheel |
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