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Because it was All
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Because it was All |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
The Magazines came today. STONE SOUP we called it. all in capitols because it was all us. all ours. and we deserve large letters. "We" are the STONE SOUP staff "We" are the ones who ruffled all the pages of all the stories and all the poems and decided which were good or bad with a delirous or disgusted groan. Hours. lots and lots All stacked up, that we spent aligning this and that Comma here, double space, there's no "s" in affecsionate. And now, I can touch it and it's beautiful. I read it again for the first time, and am amazed. All the pieces that we chose All lined up neat and perfect. The cover gleams, delighted in its own glossiness. It recognizes the luxury for a student publication. And they are so Good! I had forgotten. I was pinned under the stack of hours, and the evil misplaced apostrophes. But now, in the quiet all alone with what we've bound, unflinching talent all tied up tight in a ball, clasped in cocky caps, I am crying. And this joy is more than knowing your friends pen Picasos and Monets These tears honor more than sweat stains that bound beauty. They stream because we are, all of us, staff, artists, all part of our STONE SOUP. Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
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| © Copyright 2000 Elyse Wilcock - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tim Gouldthorp Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 170 |
Elyse, Elyse, Obviously this poem seems to be about some person experience (perhaps constructing a University publication?) I thought the poem was good, the only thing that confused me a bit was that in the earlier passages, "deciding what was good and what was bad" etc it seemed that the poem was about criticising grubby editiors as they stupidly dissect poems, but later it turns out this is not the case at all. Keep up the good work, |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
well, thankyou tim!  although, this was still a High School publication, my last since i graduate this saturday WOOHOO! oh, and we were completely grubby, us editors. you should've seen us. does that fix yer confusion?  luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
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Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Hi Elyse, Congrats on graduating, It's getting late here so I'll be a little brief and save ya from my overdrawn cut and paste routine. Please excuse my abruptness. Perhaps "We" doesn't need to be in quotations in the second stanza. Third stanza I really liked except for the first line. Seemed to plain. Consider rewording the fifth stanza, one suggestion would be something like: "The pieces that we chose lined up neat and perfect. The cover gleamed, delighted in its own glossiness. It recognized the luxury for a student publication." I thought the double use of "All" really stood out and didn't flatter the stanza. I really liked the last stanza. Good way to end it. All in all it was a good poem and an enjoyable read, thanks, take care, Trevor |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
elyse-- i really enjoyed this poem! the hard work, dedication, laughter, joy, love and pride you felt throughout this project and upon seeing the journal in print are all there; very well done! a few typos, capitol should be capital, delirous should be delirious, but no evil misplaced apostrophes, lol. good job here, elyse, and congrats on STONE SOUP! enjoy your summer, and i hope to see lots more of your wonderful work out here. jenni |
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Elyse Member
since 2000-04-16
Posts 414Apex (think raleigh) NC |
thanx trevor and jenni! yeah, the quotes on "we" is pretty stupid. that should go. alright, ill give up one of my "all"s, but ya cant have both! i will never learn how to type correctly. i have given up hope. oh well, at least y'all can understand what i meant. thats somethin. its so sweet of y'all to congratulate me on graduatin. no more HS for Elyse!!!! yay!!!!! ahem. im better now luv Elyse Do I contradict myself? Very well then . . . . I contradict myself; I am large . . . . I contain multitudes. -Papa Walt |
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Forrest Cain Member
since 2000-04-21
Posts 306Chas.,W.V. USA |
Elyse sorry so long in reading this. Very enjoyable read(as you predictably know I like all your poems). I hope you don`t abandon us since you`ve graduated (what am I thinking, of course you want you`re a word junky). thanks forrest |
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