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Things that Fall Apart
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Things that Fall Apart |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Things that Fall Apart (for A, M, and that field next door) Though the ghosts live buried under the piles of sand their mournful cries are carried along the deathly winds like warnings or harbingers of things soon to fall apart. And at night when it's lonely and the stars are upon the sky I can hear their whispers and I think back to the past. Once long ago they played baseball here in this field. Not any old baseball though, but the real kind of baseball, with ghost runners and tennis balls. Ghost runners, they're all that run these bases anymore. Yeah, they used to play baseball here but now they've split it in two, two very distant pieces and I'm the only one left, remembering games of baseball and lamenting the things that fall apart. (written spontaneously for memories of times long ago and things that fall apart) I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Ryan, I really like the 'real baseball' part but that first two stanzas seems a bit overdone -- I'd say drop them and concentrate on the baseball scenes. Brad Oh yeah, and rewrite the 'Once long ago' part. |
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Kirk T Walker Member
since 2000-01-13
Posts 357Liberty, MO |
Ryan, Are you at all familiar with Achebe's novel Things Fall Apart? I think it was from the 60's. I just read it a couple months ago in a PostColonial literature class. The title of your poem caught my eye for that reason (especially since you didn't capitalize "that"). You actually touch on a common theme in PostColonialist writing--that of the past, its ressurection, and reconstruction. I was wondering if you did this on purpose? It sort of works well in this poem because baseball is a part of American culture. Let me know what you had in mind and if you are familiar with Achebe's work. Kirk T Walker< !signature--> Disclaimer: The preceding statement is just my opinion. [This message has been edited by Kirk T Walker (edited 05-16-2000).] |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
Brad -- Yeah, if I can come up with something better for that intro, I will. And the "once long ago" part could be a better lead in to a memory. We'll see what happens if I get back to this one. Thanks. Kirk -- Yes, yes, I'm very familiar with "Things Fall Apart." Had to read it earlier this year in English. Not quite sure I had those lofty goals in mind when I started, but yeah, it does speak to those ideas. The title didn't come to me until after the work, and actually, that isn't capitalized only because I didn't like how it looked when it was capital. That's me. *grins* Thanks for the thoughts though, they give me some good insight. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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Lonelypoet Member
since 2000-05-10
Posts 123Conklin,NY,USA |
Ryan, Good poem my friend though it did go over my head alittle. |
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J.L. Humphres Member
since 2000-01-03
Posts 201Alabama |
Ryan, You've dazzled me once again. I really dug this offering cat. The imagery, flow, and meaning all really come together on this one; keep up the good work. J.L.H. Jason I...I have seen the best minds of my generation... --Allen Ginsberg |
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
ryan-- i liked this piece, you really establish mood here very effectively. i thought perhaps you could pare out some of the smaller words, but that's a stylistic thing, i guess, and a matter of taste. one thing that did confuse me was the splitting of the field into "two very distant pieces;" just how does one split a field and move the pieces far away from each other? and i guess i disagree with brad; i see what he's saying about the first two stanzas, but i like them. i do think, perhaps, you could lose the line "and i think back to the past" without losing any of the poem. nice job. thanks for sharing it with us. jenni |
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doreen peri Member Elite
since 1999-05-25
Posts 3812Virginia |
hey you!! ready to graduate??? you done outdone yourself here, ryan... nicely written (saw it at the scroll... don't remember if i responded over there) nice to see you again, m'friend... now go to college and major in something that's going to make you boatloads of money... like creative writing... hehe  (hey... if there were good money in creative writing, i'd hope that was your major, for sure.. you always have been pretty darned good, y'know? ) -doreen |
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Ryan Member
since 1999-06-10
Posts 297Kansas |
How do they split a field in two? They build an ugly storm drainage ditch in the middle of it. I guess that "distant" is just relative to the idea of little kids. Hey Doreen, hell (i wonder if that word will get posted) yes I'm ready to graduate. Last day of school was Friday. Graduation is Tuesday. I think (except for sleeping), I've been home maybe an hour since Friday morning. Oh well, works for me. Okay, well, thanks for all the responses. I do wonder what I'll do to this one when/if I get back to it. It's quite an interesting one for me. I'm outta here now. See you guys later. Ryan I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion. —Jack Kerouac |
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