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Critical Analysis #1

Lovely

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

0 posted 2000-05-02 01:27 PM

                                              Do you carE
                            about me, those, or theM
                    are you finding it hard to sleeP
                          it must be true, you are A
                      lazy, heartless creature thaT
                     has no emotions, pure hellisH
                         disguised living beautifullY
< !signature-->

There is something inside me
and I know it's good,
but understanding is misunderstood.


[This message has been edited by Effigy (edited 05-02-2000).]

Elyse
Member

since 2000-04-16

Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC

1 posted 2000-05-02 09:36 PM

hey effigy! an interesting idea. but i think the title is misleading. and i wouldnt capitalize the last letters, you know, dont beat us over the head with it. this phrase "pure hellish/disguised living beautifully" doesnt quite work. maybe a little tweaking would make it better. just a suggestion.
luv Elyse

Effigy
Member

since 2000-04-11

Posts 486
disbelief

2 posted 2000-05-02 10:10 PM

The only reason I capitalized the last letters was because the last time I posted this poem no one caught the "empathy".

There is something inside me
and I know it's good,
but understanding is misunderstood.

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