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Critical Analysis #1

King of Thorns

WTVamp
Junior Member

since 2000-05-01

Posts 18
Salem, OR, US

0 posted 2000-05-01 12:16 PM

He sits on his throne of weeds,
and makes the insects do as he please.
He rules the kingdom with an iron might,
his world is alive,
as he cries through the night,

Here amongst the tattered trees,
below his throne of dried up weeds,
He dances and prances,
        and thinks of his chances,

Of finding a beautiful queen...
        a blonde haired, blue eyed, beautiful queen.

He's the King of the hidden trees,
in a palace full of branches of leaves.
He lies in a path out of sight,
he lies in the brush,
in the park late at night,

Here amongst the scattered leaves,
under the light of moonlit beams,
He believes and dreams,
        in what he will be,

When he finds his beautiful queen...
        his strongwilled, lovely, beautiful queen.

He remembers forgotten days,
when he danced with a girl in the breeze.
A princess he met in the night,
a beautiful child
who had stolen his heart,

A playmate who put his soul at ease,
and kissed him under the throne of weeds.
She dared him to care,
         but he was to scared,

to take her as his beautiful queen...
         his stronghearted, caring, beautiful queen.

So he finds himself alone in the trees,
longing for the girl that could have been his.
If you listen closely you hear the cries,
of the saddened child,
crying in the night,

From his throne of dying weeds,
where he lost the girl of his dreams.
He mourns and remorses,
         of all forgotten choices,

Where once was a beautiful thing...
         Where love was a beautiful thing.

bboog
Member

since 2000-02-29

Posts 303
Valencia, California

1 posted 2000-05-02 08:14 PM

W~
I think you might want to start this poem at this line:
He's the King of the hidden trees,

and delete the stanza before it as it really doesn't tell us much- other than he likes blue-eyed blondes.

I think you also might reconsider some of the words and images as to the reader this fellow comes across as being a wierd stalker, lying in the brush in the park at night, lamenting that he didn't get a child.
In other words, perhaps he's just a new kid in town (not a king) who wishes he was back at his old town where he knew one girl who really liked him.
Good luck with this!
bboog

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