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Critical Analysis #1

the hickory casket

Forrest Cain
Member

since 2000-04-21

Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA

0 posted 2000-04-21 06:36 PM

The Hickory Casket

It`s been so long since we first stood
on the edge of ourselves
and looked across the melted hills
beyond the boundaries, just defined
by the limits (self imposed or not)
still to follow the restless road ,we go
against the pull of hill and home
traveling randomly at angles
or straight away
until we can no longer resist the forces
that pull us back, to stand
one on a side
to shoulder the weight, heavy
and heavier
gravity aside
while we wait car by car
to follow past the cemetery bridge
that leads into the hills

< !signature-->

[This message has been edited by Forrest Cain (edited 04-22-2000).]

Elyse
Member

since 2000-04-16

Posts 414
Apex (think raleigh) NC

1 posted 2000-04-21 08:17 PM

this is really nice, except, i dont understand your last 2 lines. it doesnt quite seem like and ending. BTW im a big fan of using the title to tell somethin important like you did.

luv Elyse

Forrest Cain
Member

since 2000-04-21

Posts 306
Chas.,W.V. USA

2 posted 2000-04-21 09:20 PM

Elyse this poem was something I had written
to my brother who came up from Atlanta to be
a pallbearer at our childhood friends
funeral. The graveyard he was buried in
was across a one car swinging bridge .
Thank you for your feedback.

Forrest

Mike
Member Elite

since 1999-06-19

Posts 2462

3 posted 2000-04-22 09:27 AM

Don't venture into Critical Analysis very often as I am not knowledgeable enough to offer constructive criticism. All I can say, I enjoyed what is a well-written poem.

warmhrt
Senior Member

since 1999-12-18

Posts 1563

4 posted 2000-04-23 01:31 AM

Forrest,

Wonderful work here...wouldn't change a thing. The word choices, the imagery, and the emotions...all done so well.

Kris

the poet's pen...gives to airy nothing
A local habitation and a name ~ Shakespeare

jbouder
Member Elite

since 1999-09-18

Posts 2534
Whole Sort Of Genl Mish Mash

5 posted 2000-04-24 12:16 PM

Forrest:

Sorry so late to this. First impressions ... I thought your poem was extremely well written. I thought you did a fine job of expressing some complicated thoughts and maintaining the somber, reflective mood from beginning to end. Well done and welcome to CA.

Jim

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