Critical Analysis #1 |
Guess Who I Am ( 1st draft ) |
Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
I will find you You cannot hide I'll take you along For the ride You are simply a pawn in my master plan Your life will never be the same again I can find you in the darkest of places I can turn cold even the warmest embraces You cannot hide from the sorrow I bring Get on your mark I'm ready to spring I'm not always sent from somewhere above If you haven't yet guessed my name is.... HEARTBREAK |
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© Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
Jeffrey~ I think more vivid imagery might help this poem. Something like: She's got pictures of me tattoed on her skin head to toe. She snipped off her hair wears a bone through her nose and she finds me. I don't know if this helps you but I think that it might help the "surprise" ending. Best regards to you, bboog |
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Jeffrey Carter
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
bboog...that is certainly something to think about Jeffrey |
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