| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Guess Who I Am ( 1st draft ) |
|
Jeffrey Carter![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion!
|
I will find you You cannot hide I'll take you along For the ride You are simply a pawn in my master plan Your life will never be the same again I can find you in the darkest of places I can turn cold even the warmest embraces You cannot hide from the sorrow I bring Get on your mark I'm ready to spring I'm not always sent from somewhere above If you haven't yet guessed my name is.... HEARTBREAK |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Jeffrey D. Carter - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
bboog Member
since 2000-02-29
Posts 303Valencia, California |
Jeffrey~ I think more vivid imagery might help this poem. Something like: She's got pictures of me tattoed on her skin head to toe. She snipped off her hair wears a bone through her nose and she finds me. I don't know if this helps you but I think that it might help the "surprise" ending. Best regards to you, bboog |
||
Jeffrey Carter![]() ![]() ![]()
since 2000-04-08
Posts 2367State of constant confusion! |
bboog...that is certainly something to think about Jeffrey |
||
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||