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Tears of life
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Tears of life |
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MEGAN Junior Member
since 1999-08-16
Posts 17Cottonwood, Ca United States |
Just like a down pour, my tears just fall. Confusion overwhelms my soul. Am I strong enough to go on? Each morning I wake up, wanting so much to know, but I am left in the dark. Alone and confused, I cry. Not just a single tear, but rather a waterfall. Swimming in my own emotions, I begin to sink. Soon grasping for air, I don't struggle to be free. I just fall, hit bottom. Overtaken by life. Not wanting to get up, I lay on the water's floor. I take my last glance at the world, say my final prayer, take my last and final breath. |
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| © Copyright 1999 MEGAN - All Rights Reserved | |||
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samt Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 52Brisbane |
wow, that's amazing. That is exactly how I feel most mornings, since I foolishly made mistakes. But you will feel another again, you always do. Keep writing. Be free |
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samt Member
since 2001-08-02
Posts 52Brisbane |
wow, that's amazing. This poem is beautiful. That is exactly how I feel most mornings, since I foolishly made mistakes. But you will feel another again, you always do. Keep writing. Be free |
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citizenx Member
since 2001-07-31
Posts 189motorcade |
Megan, sounds pretty serious but you know we all go through rough times, they do end.. honestly they do. I am taking this poem as an emotional purge, sometimes they bring good poetry but most of the time they give up the outlines for a good poem, which is what I feel this is. When you are feeling better, go back think what made you sad how does it feel, what images does it create, how do those images feel. That was my critical voice speaking out, my heart however says that if things are really bad go talk to someone about it, you sound by your words young and in a lot of pain. I hope that things improve soon. Take care, hugs and peace. shadows flicker sweet end tame |
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Cpat Hair
since 2001-06-05
Posts 11793 |
I would echo what has been said above...and do also hope the times and hurts get better... as for the poem..one thing I personally try to avoid is using the same word more than once if possible... and I also try to flesh out the feeling or image with a few descriptors or metaphors... take alook at your poem when you have had time to put yourself a little distant from the emotion behind it and analyze it , pare it down to an essence...and think about every word... emotional write.... and touching in its sincerity... |
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