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Critical Analysis #1
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haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA

0 posted 2000-03-22 01:11 PM


Day to Day
and every day
I bring you March
and Wednesday
as it drips and dries
grating in the dull-gray
street. Every day
this tired month
reaches out,
with wanting hands
asks to play,
and you say

No.
Let me see you.
Undressed, unadorned,
as you were
when you were born.

Every day. Tired
hands of Eve's clock
wind round a cracking
face where every day
is bared and plain,
open, palms up.
Still.

You dream of storms
and horses, men bending
flax fixed with bells.
You dream and March
falls quietly behind
the day to day

Me
plain
and unadorned.



[This message has been edited by haze (edited 03-22-2000).]

© Copyright 2000 Haze McElhenny - All Rights Reserved
haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
1 posted 2000-03-22 01:57 PM


SIDE NOTE
(I know poo-poo for resp'ing my own thing but...)

SIDE NOTE:
Since the day-to-day "Tuesday" was so popular, you may be interested to know that I am creating a "These Days" collection with day-to-day ennui-flavoured milli-seconds honed to full scale poetic attacks. So-
If you really can't get enough of bourgeois existence...

Check out :
These Days http://www.geocities.com/marlena36.geo/thesedays.html

(so shameless I am-poo-poo me twice-for the promo-plug)

[This message has been edited by haze (edited 03-22-2000).]

Not A Poet
Member Elite
since 1999-11-03
Posts 3885
Oklahoma, USA
2 posted 2000-03-22 02:46 PM


Hi Haze,

Just got back from lunch where I gave some thought to this poem. I was hoping this was beginning a series   Now it seems you say it does. I also wondered why you started with Tuesday, or did you?

I like this one better than Tuesday, maybe just the

   "Let me see you.
   Undressed, unadorned,

part (dirty old man and all that).

I was just about to say that one line went right by me, the flax and bells one, but now I think I see it.

   "You dream of storms
   and horses, men bending
   flax fixed with bells."

For some reason it was like I subconsciously wanted to read a comma after bending. Well, like I said, it makes sense now.  

When can we expect the next installment?




 Pete

What terms shall I find sufficiently simple in their sublimity --
sufficiently sublime in their simplicity --
for the mere enunciation of my theme?
Edgar Allan Poe



haze
Senior Member
since 1999-11-03
Posts 528
Bethlehem, PA USA
3 posted 2000-03-22 02:56 PM


Hey Pete-

Thank you much!
"Men bending flax fixed with bells" is an element of a dream-sort of. A commune parks around here every summer, fixes their tents, and works as they do. One of them is a weaver of flax (linen). His stuff is incredible.
Anyway-he weaves the flax and I have watched, even help spin occasionally. So the implicatiion here is weaving a strong fabric, bells attached, to ward off evil.

And-I guess you know by now-there always is a secret under stirring somewhere in my stuff (even if you must dig to find it)

The series is in full swing at http://www.geocities.com/marlena36.geo/thesedays.html
already. I need a Monday poem and a Friday poem but...they'll come.

Later-Thankies BTW  


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