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| Critical Analysis #1 |
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dhuron Member
since 2000-03-19
Posts 476 |
Words, filled with hate and hurt words become swords that cut to the core Emotions are neglected as the blade is released and pierces the heart inflicting a fatal wound. Cast out into the dark once again, as demanded by fate when will the mind learn what the soul knows...solitude No physical pain can compare to the pain of the soul being denouced while the heart is torn asunder Displaced in time rejected the soul and heart die Never able to function again. |
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| © Copyright 2000 Daniel Huron - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Tony Di Bart Member
since 2000-01-26
Posts 160Toronto, Canada |
dhuron Ah the tragedy. I am a sucker for these types of poems. I have a whole collection of them, many I have written myself. But, I digress. Back to your poem. 1st Stanza I would lose the second Words. Trips me when I read it and I think it is totally unnecessary. Otherwise goop opening. Second stanza I see the connection to the first one ie the idea of the sword. THird Stanza I would loose the "once again". I have learned that these two words can transform an entire work from poetic beauty into a giant teenager like whine. I would take it out and the stanza is far more powerful. Also the ...solitude at the end kind confuses me. Fourthe and Fifth. I like the soul being denounced. but I think that you could have a more powerful ending in the last stanza. Thanks for posting. I could really identify with you poem. See ya |
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