»
Archives
»
Critical Analysis #1
»
Moderator's Choice, "Mother Dresie" by J.L. Humphres
| Critical Analysis #1 |
|
Moderator's Choice, "Mother Dresie" by J.L. Humphres |
|
|
Trevor Senior Member
since 1999-08-12
Posts 700Canada |
Well here's our choice for this week. My personal opinion is that Jason accurately painted the mood of a little voodoo shop and the "evil" wants that might go on there. The dim lights, The near snuffed, Battling blazes, Of well known tealites, Colored the dark room; Bathed the deep, Inpenatrable darkness, In an astral glow, A sweet mixture of, Hell's fire and angel's hair. The raucous aromas, The sintilating scents, Piercing blends of, Sweat, blood, and death; All cooking over inextinguishable fires, Kindled by, Lust, greed, and vengeance; These flavors hung thick, In the air, Made the small place, Slick with Voodoo. The thin woman, The worn, listless old witch, Sat crossed legged, Watching crow's bones, Rattling in the empty, Weathered skull, Of an ancient African doctor. She loved the odor... Lived on the glow... Spirit danced to the rattle. Jason |
||
| © Copyright 2000 Trevor Davis - All Rights Reserved | |||
|
Poertree Senior Member
since 1999-11-05
Posts 1359UK |
There is certainly an atmosphere here but somehow it is just so remote from my experience (thank goodness) that it doesn't seem somehow to be real. Maybe it's because it is just so foreign but it really doesn't move me at all .. It's almost like I just read an ok fictional novel where I see the pictures the author is trying to create but he doesnt take me inside them. Unfortunately the word "tealites" in the opening stanza also distracted me, as I haven't any idea what a tealite is. "Inpenatrable darkness, sintilating scents," I thought were just a little on the over used side, and maybe these should in any case have been "Impenetrable" and "scintillating", small typo's? Having said that, there were undoubtedly some great moments: "These flavours hung thick, In the air, Made the small place, Slick with Voodoo. " was an excellent stanza full of imagery and innovation, and for some reason this did more to convey to me the impurity in the air than any of the more overt passages of the poem. Thanks to the "Mods" (lol) for raising this from the grave (that was a pun btw  )Philip [This message has been edited by Poertree (edited 03-08-2000).] |
||
|
|
⇧ top of page ⇧ |
|
| All times are ET (US). All dates are in Year-Month-Day format. | ||
