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Death's Irony
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Death's Irony |
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hailfellow Junior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 28 |
I didn't think this was appropriate for the Teen Forum (I could be wrong), so I posted it in here for you guys (and girls). I'd strongly appreciate any comments or pointers you could give. Thanks. We love to live, live to die, But Death’s one love is Life. On that day when Life’s flame Pulses dim, prepares to die, The presence of Life, presence of Death Before Time’s eyes decay. When last Life Death concludes, Itself does terminate. A burning lantern with no fuel Winks out into oblivion, And nothingness seeps in. Death wants not the final word; It kills to create anew. Without Life there is no Death; Without Death, no room for life. A circle it will always be Until we awaken anew in Life Without Death, eternally. -Gavin hailfellow@juno.com [This message has been edited by hailfellow (edited 03-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 hailfellow - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Have you been reading Milton recently? Actually, a few years back I wrote a poem on the same subject so I know where you're coming from here. Just don't think either of us can quite top that blind guy (at least not yet).  Brad |
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nona Member
since 2000-03-03
Posts 139Fla |
How beautifully put. "They were,therefore we are, therefore you shall be" We are the composite of all who have gone before us and shall be a part of all who come after. Life always goes on. Look forward to seeing more of your work |
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roxane Senior Member
since 1999-09-02
Posts 505us |
i like this poem, at least the second half of it. what disappointed me slightly was that it had no new twist on it. i was hoping for something that you had to offer about "death's irony" we all know that without death there'd be no life and vice versa. A burning lantern with no fuel- With nothing more to burn- these two lines seem kind of redundant. if it has no fuel, it obviously has nothing more to burn. i was pleased that you kept the same metaphor throughtout the piece, as dealing with life and death often makes one expand upon several thoughts. you kept it to one idea, which makes it a lot better read. ‘Tis a circle deemed by God. A circle it will always be again it's a little redundant. it seems to me that you were trying to keep a certain rhythm by adding that second line, but it's not really necessary, as the rhythm fluctuates throughout the poem. i think this is the second poem of yours i have read. i hope you keep working with them. |
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hailfellow Junior Member
since 2000-02-28
Posts 28 |
Brad: I haven't read Milton in ages, but if you are comparing me to him in a positive way, the I am flattered. Nona: Thank you so much. I do post stuff occasionally. I'm glad you liked it. Roxane: You know, you're very right! Those lines are kind of pointless. Thank you so much for helping me out!! And about the "no new twist" as I am only 18, I'm still discovering the old twists. Maybe someday I'll come up with something original, but for now we'll have to live with what we got. To anyone who reads this: If you like my first death poem, you might try reading my second one posted on the Open Forum #6 as "Dear Death". Have a nice day! hailfellow "If life had no sense and I had to choose nonsense, then I too should consider this the most sensible nonsense." ~Nietzsche |
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