The Slap (warning-rather long)

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Ted Reynolds
Member

since 1999-12-15

Posts 331

0 posted 2000-02-06 04:08 PM

     This has turned out to be a companion piece to "The Face," which I posted here a few weeks ago. Comments, especially negative/constructive, are very welcome.

                THE SLAP

"Hand me an arrow."  She handed one to him.
He notched it to the string, and bent the bow.
Far out beyond the stables a face peeked out
From behind an out-building, and tumbled back,
The arrow through its forehead.  Good, one less.
"Hand me another arrow."  His wife did.
He notched it to the string.
                                            Funny thing, that.
I used to scold her for fomenting trouble
Between the neighbor's servants and our own,
When we were newly married. She ignored my words,
Insisting that she'd never brook an insult
To any of our people cast by one of theirs,
And loving her, as I did and still do,
I let it go too far, till it turned ugly.
The bad blood escalated, I recall,
Until one of our ostlers was maimed,
And their reeve slain by ax.
                                                "An arrow, here."
Some idiot had tried to cross the yard
That ringed the manor, now lay in the mud,
Pinioned right through the neck.  Here from the roof,
There was no way a foe could scape his sight.
He had all vantage.
                                 Well, I stopped all that;
One slap changed everything.  As if a veil were drawn,
Her high and mighty airs departed, and the meek
Obedient demeanor quick appeared
Which all these years has never once departed.
And yet I wish there'd been another way.
Never before or since have I once raised
My hand or voice in anger to her.  Certainly,
The admonition worked.  And yet, somehow,
My palm has never ceased to tingle there
As if in shame.
                         He held his hand out to her.
His cousin's soldiers would be here by evening,
And all these varlets would scurry back again
To holes they'd crawled from.  She passed another arrow,
Said nothing.
                         Yet perhaps I owe to her
Apology of some sort, seeing how
With all of her domestic machinations
She never brought the whole shire down on us
Intent on our destruction.  Seems like men
Are even worse at getting on than women.
Now see, our neighbors are all dead already,
And most our servants too.  But we're all right,
Thanks to decades' practice.
                                               Again an arrow flew,
Another thrashing enemy.  "We need more arrows, dear.
Enough in the keep for twenty times this many.
The box beside my bed, one story down."

His wife gazed wearily towards the horizon
And made no move.  Her voice was very low.
"Do you remember, my dear lord," she said,
"The time you slapped me?"
                                               When the flames died down
Next morning, their mixed bones were found together.

[This message has been edited by Ted Reynolds (edited 03-19-2000).]

captaincargo
Member

since 1999-11-25

Posts 109
Corning, N.Y. U.S.A.

1 posted 2000-02-06 05:59 PM

Liked the whole thing.

Not really that long for me, as it was very entertaining. Didn't like the word peeked though. Too bad about the ending, but it does give it a sense of realism.

Oh, and another word besides, "escalated", might be more poetic. Sounds too modern for a medieval setting.

That's about it, neat story.

Cap.

Cap. Carg.

Ted Reynolds
Member

since 1999-12-15

Posts 331

2 posted 2000-02-07 08:54 AM

Okay, Captain, "peeked" will become "peered." Seldom have I had an easier correction to make, one letter. (How does one revise these things, once posted, by the way?) As for "escalated," I'll have to check out the etymology. Thanks.

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