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Critical Analysis #1
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Look, (repost from open forum)
| Critical Analysis #1 |
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Look, (repost from open forum) |
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Miss Abagail Mannering Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 136byron, il |
Look into my eyes and you'll see my fear of loosing the handsome man that i hold so dear. Look into my heart and you shall see how very much I care; and what your love means to me. Look into my soul and I'm sure you'll find the depths of my feelings- and how i speak my mind. Look into my love and no doubt you'll know that my stuborness sometimes inhibits my 'confident' show. Look into my life and you'll definately see the path has been rocky, and the climb far from easy. Look into yourself and find what you need... and from now on don't give the vultures something on which to feed. *written 2-2-2000, for my beau, Richard.. we are nearing our 5th month together...and we are having a little trouble with self esteem/selfworth..that is why i wrote it.* < !signature--> "Some people aren't worth a puddle of ant pee in the middle of a dessert when it's 100 degrees in the shade." -me [This message has been edited by Miss Abagail Mannering (edited 02-07-2000).] |
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| © Copyright 2000 Shanna Casinger - All Rights Reserved | |||
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jenni Member
since 1999-09-11
Posts 478Washington D.C. |
arrrrrghhh.... vultures, abby, vultures. i have to run, i'll comment more later, but PLEASE fix that? jenni |
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Brad Member Ascendant
since 1999-08-20
Posts 5705Jejudo, South Korea |
Strangely enough, the repetitive 'look's didn't bother me here and that kind of stuff almost always does. That's certainly a credit to your writing skill but, and perhaps I'm a bit of a voyeur, you need to get more specific -- what was the specific situation that brought you to write this poem? It has been argued that generality allows people to relate to your words better but I disagree, disagree, disagree (so what, you certainly may ask yourself). Ultimately, I think it weakens the integrity of your unique situation -- which is what I want to read about. This may work for your 'beau' but I want to read more about what happened (he already knows of course). Just an opinion, Brad |
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Miss Abagail Mannering Member
since 1999-09-01
Posts 136byron, il |
After 4 monthsof being together, he asked me if i still wanted to be with him, if i was happy with him, even though we had just spent a very good weekend together. I was devastated, becuase i thought we had all of that worked out. you see,my beau and i come from relationships in the past that were very abusive. we both find it very hard to trust, and we find it very hard to believe that either one of us is worth much. i know he's worth everything, but i feel that i'm not worth anything, and he feels that he's not worth anything, though he thinks i am worth something. I am trying to get him to see that no matter how the people in his past treated him, i am not them..and that i love him no matter what. i am trying to get him to trust in me and to trust in my love for him...and ultimately, to trust himself. I am also trying to tell him that though i am stuborn sometimes, it doesn't mean that I love him any less. "Some people aren't worth a puddle of ant pee in the middle of a dessert when it's 100 degrees in the shade." -me |
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