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soul drifter
Senior Member

since 2004-09-08

Posts 711
Colorado

0 posted 2017-08-12 11:19 AM

This Fire

This fire is burning low
the moon is but a fingernail
you'll find me in afterglow
with a few memories up for sale

Fall is a time to remember
I'm musing on triumph and regret
I ain't getting any younger
but I'm not an old man yet

You can tell me I'm wrong
you can write off all my songs
just don't come between
the dreamer and his dream
getting intimate again

The ashes smolder awhile
the moon is back on the shelf
I'm tracking every crooked mile
that led me to back to myself

Spring is a time of renewal
I'm stitching up my battered sails
whether the weather is sweet or cruel
experience has taught me well

You can tell me I'm wrong
you can write off all my songs
just don't come between
the dreamer and his dream
building time again

This fire
feel the ignition of creativity
set me like a rocket across the sky
this fire
burning on like the brightest star shining
set me sifting through the dreaming and the reasons why

You can tell me I'm wrong
you can write off all my songs
just don't come between
the dreamer and his dream
dreaming it all up again

This fire is burning low
the moon is but a fingernail
you'll find me in afterglow
with a few memories up for sale

"Whatever makes you weird is probably your greatest asset"-Joss Whedon

Cerulean
Member
Posts 109

1 posted 2017-08-12 02:15 PM

This is a very nice, metaphorical poem. I like how you use this stanza:

quote:
You can tell me I'm wrong
you can write off all my songs
just don't come between
the dreamer and his dream

three times and with a new ending phrase after each one. Enjoyed the read.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2017-08-12 10:08 PM

nice writing...james

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2017-08-12 10:32 PM

This is one deep poem, my friend. You did well. Take a bow.

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

4 posted 2017-08-13 05:13 AM

I really like this too! I think Jerry said it best. ~L

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