Open Poetry #50 |
I Ride the Dark Horse |
Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
My dreams were never big, my goals not lofty. I never had aspirations beyond home and hearth. Even so, I did not strive to be a soccer mom nor push my children to be outstanding. Above all things, I wanted to be ordinary. Just plain normal would have been good enough for me. I married young and dumb to my troubled high school sweetheart. I learned love can be complicated. The early years I learned about babies and doing without. I learned to be afraid, make excuses and keep secrets. I learned about drugs and alcohol and that a spouse can rape. I learned how to carry guilt and shame. After twenty years, I finally learned to walk away. But what I still have yet to learn is how to let go of all the garbage I picked up along the way. The garbage that tells me I’m not good enough, It’s all my fault, I’m defective. Even though I’m older and wiser now, those early learned lessons still haunt me. They color my thinking before I even realize I’ve had the thought. It is like I have a tic, but more like a twinge, that you just naturally learn to ignore. Some things can only be ignored so long and that’s when the depression sets in and starts laying waste to my life. Days slept away, chores left undone and indifference is as good as the mood is going to get. So I just breathe and ride the dark horse to the other side of the valley. The sun is usually shining there and God gives me a sunrise that reminds me of what joy feels like. In that brief time before the pink skies turn to golden light I find tranquility. |
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© Copyright 2017 Lori Grosser Rhoden - All Rights Reserved | |||
Bluesy Socrateaser Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417In The Mirror |
This poetry of yours Lori Rhoden speaks volumes on the subject of a woman's strength, not her weaknesses. "Normal" is an ambiguous 'setting' for one and all and it's only through your modesty and humility that you might define yourself as 'ordinary'. The "Dark horse" has taken you through the maze of your life's experiences into the twilight of your dreams where "the sun is usually shining and God gives you a sunrise that will remind you of what joy feels like". Everyone has a story, but few can tell of it as you have. Pardon the liberties I took to reflect your words to you. BTS ...just bein' Bluesy |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Life is a bi**h . . . AND . . . El Supremo, my friend. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Life is a lot of pains, indeed, we try or we learn some stuff, and when we understand some thing it is too late, so as you do, let's fond some peace just for a moment in a day, thanks for the excellent poem |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Blusey, Thank you so much for all your kind words! You can take those kind of liberty's any time. ~L |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Hey Jerry! You're alive! Some of us feared the worst. Hugs! ~L |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Yann, So glad you liked my poem. Thanks for taking the time to let me know. ~L |
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miscellanea Member Elite
since 2004-06-24
Posts 4060OH |
Lori, "They color my thinking before I realize I had the thought" Wow. Haven't we all experienced that in some way or other? "It's like I have a tick, more like a twinge that you just naturally learn to ignore" I enjoy how you write away on the dark horse. Hopefully, the ticks and twinges will lessen with time. ~miscellanea |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
miscellanea, Hey thanks for giving me a read. Good to see you. The dark horse and I have been together a long time. It always gets better. ~L |
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Poet In Pink Senior Member Posts 1066 MI |
Hello Lori You've really penned heart and soul into this piece ~ A wonderful read and inspiration ~ Thank you for sharing ~ Enjoyed so much! Alana |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Hey your Pinkness, An inspiration? Well I don't know about all that, but I am glad you liked my poem. ~L |
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EvaRoss Junior Member Posts 22 |
This is great, lands like a thud, and comes across as very real, a hard pill to swallow but mostly and also triumphant |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Eva Ross, Pleased to meet you and welcome to the Blue Buffett. I hope you like it here. Thank you for taking the time to read my poem and comment. I appreciate your opinion. ~L |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
I like the last line "I find tranquility"... and may you know peace...james |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
James, I think, for me, sunrises are my "rainbows". They are a Godly thing to me that does give me peace as it renews my faith. ~L |
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