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Open Poetry #50
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Bucket Lists and Other Last Minute Thoughts
| Open Poetry #50 |
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Bucket Lists and Other Last Minute Thoughts |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere 
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Last minute thoughts persisting. Every time I light up and cough, My COPD reminds me that Covid will kill me quick. Once behind sterile walls, forget the list and never mind the bucket. Just you, the respirator and regret. If there was anything in life I didn’t get. Too bad, so sad. Sucks for me. I feel the panic rise when I realize all I have compromised pleasing others. for as long as I can remember, making people happy was the way to be. Self worthiness dependent upon someone else’s happiness that never quite seemed to materialize. Trying to bloom where I plant myself. I’m withering in soil that is life sustaining The prism within me is longing for illumination and casting rainbows. LGR(C)11/20/20 , |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
This may be one of the saddest poems I have ever read. The self-realization in it is astounding, especially in context with the point in life it is taking place. quote: That is the saddest part of all. A lesson many of us never learn...that we have to define our own happiness, it cannot be dependent on another's. Hugs Lori, I know no one is looking for praise when they write a poem like this. Michael |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Lori...All I can say is be strong and hold on to those that love you and your eternal reward will be yours,,,Pail ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Michael, I appreciate your sensitive response to my poem.This is why I haven't been posting much, I prefer to be more upbeat. ~L |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Paul, Thanks for your comforting and inspirational words. ~L |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Hmm - we did what we did, said what we said, acted right or wrong in context with whatever. We lived, our life pressured by prevailing circumstances, by our hearts and souls, and Others who filled our days with unforeseen, and often, uncontrollable circumstances - and now, with the end down there somewhere, just at the edge of sight, we begin to bemoan our past. We lived our lives the best way we could at the time, often indecisive of which corner to turn. The one constant, here, that we have to remember. It's all said and done - it's the past, and we need to live for today, tomorrow, healing what wounds we can, if necessary, and letting our psyches smile at the good things we've done. Only God is perfect, and he judges the whole, not the parts we choose to display as we ponder the years and actions of our past. Live with who you are and your perceived shortcomings will be buried by the rest of your soul. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
Lori, all my thougts in this terrible experience for you to vinquish fate, your poem is extraordinary best regards |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Jimmy, You are more than just a little bit right. I appreciate your wise words and take comfort in them. Bless your heart! ~L |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Yann, Thank you so much for reading and commenting. I always appreciate hearing what you have to say. ~L |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
This is definitely one of the more sad ones I've read from you, but that is okay. Write what lies upon your soul no matter what. You never know who you may find in need of an epiphany on the other end of the cast line. As for worth being dependent on other people's happiness, I can say that is always a biblical struggle for me. My upbringing in churches taught me that we are here to help others before ourselves, but there is a chance that circumstances of life along the way caused the understanding of the message to get a little warped. Enjoyed! "I know this love will tear me to pieces I know his hands will dig up my secrets" Meg Myers |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Oh Sweetie, thanks so much for the read and understanding. I'm quite sure my thinking is a little warped in more ways than one. If life is like a grocery store with anything you could want and I can't figure out what to fix for supper.... Trying to come to terms with my ducks in disarray and cats unherded. ~L |
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Gunslinger Senior Member
since 1999-10-09
Posts 901TX, USA |
Regrets... they are the glue that hold the flattened squirrels together on the road of life. Very poignant write, Lori. My referral was to-"The road of life is paved by flattened squirrels who could not make their minds up." |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
I love it! Think I may have been flattened a few times alright. Thanks for the great comment! ~L |
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