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Temptress

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-06-15

Posts 7136
Mobile, AL

0 posted 2020-09-24 09:13 AM

I got a little tired.
Understatement.
Dosed with all the saved up wild
I shed forced wings.
The lure of control
no longer sounded promising
and then I lost myself
wandered the salt air
and gave in to every risk
I'd never taken
and traveled the willing blindness
until pain
was the only music I could hear.
I'd hoped for a while
to walk on moonlit Gulf sands
toward the taunting moon
into the muddy jaws
of barely moving water
dragging my feet through every step
letting memories of us
be in my thoughts last
as my lungs filled up
and finally I would float.
But it was a dream.
Even if you can't swim
A person can't force themselves to drown
if they don't go deep enough.
There was nothing then to do
but let another type of current take me
in effort to shed the angel
I'd tried to be for years
before
and after meeting
you.
Dark crowded bars
filled with smoke
so thick that I tried to draw your name in it
and alcohol filled shuffling
of feet destined
for where?
Away from the dreams of life
we'd began to plan in detail
and away from all my committed sins
due to justified impatience.
I got tired.
An Understatement
and even these words
will never describe
the twist of the path I took
when all hope hid from me
and the dam against the blackness
cracked
with a scream
and nearly left the nice girl there
choking and gagging
on a heart too big to tear out.

"I know this love will tear me to pieces
I know his hands will dig up my secrets"

Meg Myers

jwesley
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-04-30

Posts 7563
Spring, Texas

1 posted 2020-09-24 11:36 PM

Dark crowded bars
filled with smoke
so thick that I tried to draw your name in it
and alcohol filled shuffling
of feet destined
for where?

Wow, remember those days!
Saw your heart in this, my friend, or at least the broken pieces . . .

enjoyed,

j.

augustsky
Senior Member
Posts 828
midwest US

2 posted 2020-09-26 12:07 PM

No one can be an angel for anyone..
oh..the things we put ourselves through, & the pain we cause each other.

Well put Poetess

Sky~

~Tell me the story about how the sun
loved the moon so much..he died every
night to let her breathe~

Paul Wilson

Member Elite

since 2002-07-07

Posts 4711
United States

3 posted 2020-09-26 05:36 PM

Lady T. Deep writing here from you.
Breakups are never easy. I'd say go kick some ass and have a I told you so drink or two
Take care dear lady...Paul

~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~
Paul

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

4 posted 2020-09-27 11:07 AM

This is heartrending, Jenn. You have an amazing talent in the ability to slice open your own chest to show us all within, no matter the pain there.

You take us through stages of growth and grief here:

"A person can't force themselves to drown
if they don't go deep enough."..on through the "justified impatience" and leaving us with the "nice little girl choking and gagging."

It's seems to be more than just a price paid trying to be something to someone else, and more a complete releasing of soul to keep from having to look back.

As I said, heartrending.

Michael

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