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Open Poetry #50
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The Weight of Empty Promises
| Open Poetry #50 |
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The Weight of Empty Promises |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL 
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I've given this earth fourty-four years. I've walked around baring an instrument living in my chest whose bass only I can hear the pulse from, and it slams like a trapped thing against tired skin and a mind nearly empty of hope. Men have seen fit to collect it's pieces and fit it into their mishapen boxes. Their own half cocked hearts never slowed down long enough to take all of me in. I've torn down many engraved pedestals with the parts of me they thought they could discard. Their shocked faces anger me still. Fourty-four years of not belonging here and hoping that the tears which wet my face will drip softening the ground enough so that I may land on knees, and easily make the earth my bed. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Holy cow! What a powerful piece that I related to in ways I wished I couldn't. Be it from indifference or ignorance, their heavy boots trampling our garden is always no bueno. Not to man bash, it is just not uncommon. Women aren't the only ones hard to understand. |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
just wonderful, yann |
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Starmcneil 1955 Member Posts 174 Alberta, Canada |
Oh my gosh...you weave so perfectly a life where I can concur...your words brought me up short where I said to myself "I know what she says for I too have lived loosing pieces of myself with no one to see me as a whole person...Bravo...Bravo...thank you for the truth of The Weight of Empty Promises |
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augustsky Senior Member Posts 828 midwest US |
Yes..Powerful piece indeed! So many tender feelings women can relate to. You touched my heart with this Dear lady, you hang on to that scrap of hope..hold tight Sweet Poetess. Well done.. Sky~ Sometimes..Miracles are just good people |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
“Men have seen fit to collect it's pieces and fit it into their mishapen boxes“ Powerful piece, Jenn…beautifully written. To give all of yourself and get nothing in return is a vapid existence… I hear people speak of men and women finding their soul mates, but your line on the bass of your pulse being something only you can hear kind of stirs up the truth that men and women are, typically, wired differently and prone to disappointment in hoping their feelings, ideas, and longings will all be shared. I myself always ascribed to the theory that women were cats and men were dogs. “Fourty-four years of not belonging here” OK, now I have to spank you! You do belong here, and the world is a far better place for having you in it. The earth makes a good pillow btw, you’ll have to take me on my word here. A most excellent purge. Michael |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Temptress...That instrument in your chest is a beautiful heart beating load and clear saying I am strong I am a woman that will never give in to this issue. I would say just wake up each morning and greet the world as your play ground and enjoy it. Thanks so much for sharing your heart with us so we could hear it beating loud and clear...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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Sven
since 1999-11-23
Posts 14937East Lansing, MI USA |
There are those times that we all wonder. . . "Am I the round peg, or the square one?" Depends on the day. . . as always, your words speak volumes. . . -- That which gives light must endure burning. |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
Wow! Lay it on lady! I would be proud to have written this - and you, I hope, are proud to have done so. Excellent piece, my friend. j. [This message has been edited by jwesley (08-27-2020 09:17 PM).] |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Lori, I just seem to have horrible luck. I just keep going and trying to acknowledge my own faults and things along the way. I'm tired of learning. Now I just want the reward for the studying. LOL! I try not to write stuff that comes across as angry man bashing, but I was in a bad mood in general the day I wrote this. I have found that most people never really take the time to get to know each other as much as possible before professing love for one another and riding off into the sunset. Thanks for the read, and sorry it took so long for me to reply. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
yann, Thank you so much!  "How much is real? So much to question |
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Kit McCallum
Administrator
Member Laureate
since 2000-04-30
Posts 14774Ontario, Canada |
“and it slams like a trapped thing against tired skin” Wow! I can “feel” so many of these lines Temptress. It is truly wonderful to read you again. Such a powerful piece this is. Thank you for the amazing visuals … very much enjoyed. Best wishes, /Kit |
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Poet In Pink Senior Member Posts 1066 MI |
This tugs at my heart-strings. So much truth in your words ~ I can relate for sure. I will share this one thing I have learned in relationships..Let no man define who you are, always remember you are a strong and beautiful woman with much to give. You can be happy and enjoy life. Don't give up, the right one will come along. A tender soul write ~ Much enjoyed Alana |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Star, While I don't care for the fact that you can relate due to your experience, I am thankful for the read. I wouldn't wish the feelings of the poem on anyone. Most people just don't know what the whole entails. We can never know everything about a person, but if we're supposed to grow together in relationships neither partner should ever stop trying to discover things about the other. "How much is real? So much to question An epidemic of the mannequins Contaminating everything" Stone Sour |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Sky, Thank you. I was having a bad day on the day I wrote this one. I do try to see both point of views most of the time, but this was definitely a "fed up" kind of day with the male species in mind. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Michael, Well, here I am. I'm late.  I suppose I haven't always given all. I didn't know I was supposed to at first, and when I did it was not given to anyone who knew what to do with me. The difference between a time of great fear of judgment and the time when that fear lessens is definitely an interesting thing to ponder. I still believe in soul mates. Most days. Men and women=both human in my opinion. I refuse to bow to the beating this time.  It's a good thing my pity party is over for now though. Seems I barely escaped that one. Purge for sure. Claws are in for now. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Paul, Thank you! It feels a little too loud sometimes, but at least it's still beating. Maybe one day I can stop wandering in circles. If the world really was my playground I'll bet some interesting poetry would come from it. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Sven, I wonder what happens when you're neither round nor square. It definitely depends on the day. Thank you for reading and hearing. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
jwesley, Thank you. The only thing I feel like I was laying on was excessive "angry at men" attitude, but I'll take them compliment. I feel like it has punch, but I'm not proud of my pity party. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Kit! It is awesome to see you here! Thank you for the read and the compliments! There is one thing that is certain. I love trying to make people feel what I write. "How much is real? So much to question |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
Poet In Pink, Thank you. Your compliments and your advice is much appreciated. I like to play the moments of toughness to the max, but I usually end up softening and hoping. I've never felt forced to give in to another person's definition of me. It is more like I have just flowed into it for one reason or another. I'm a Pisces. We drift a lot. "How much is real? So much to question |
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