Open Poetry #50 |
Ashes |
Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Ashes She writes her name in the ash, The winds begin to stir. Emotion clouds the forefront, The memories, they blur. She’s done what she’s had to do In life to come this far. She will take away what’s true In the form of a scar. She peeled the walls of stone, To shelter in his pain— She sat the top of the throne, As fire was set to plane. She watched it burn till nothing But emptiness remained. Lifted her chin, unblushing, At destiny distained. The nights were blind passion, Angers had to be fed. They partook without ration. The emotions were bled. She knew he was using her, She was using him too, And yet they came together Bringing all that they knew. Both restless beyond all sense, Unbridled and untamed. Passivity turned consequence, Fleshly desires unshamed. But now she stands, looking out From his carved open chest, Where in her mind creeps the doubt Even here she could rest. The stone, found dead cold inside. A hunger she can’t sate. Pendulum swings side to side, Though most just deem it fate. A foreboding of backlash, But her? She’ll be o.k. She writes her name in the ash— Without turn, walks away. Michael Anderson [This message has been edited by Michael (06-28-2020 04:23 PM).] |
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augustsky Senior Member Posts 828 midwest US |
Damn!....You've outdone yourself my friend, a frame it in gold kind of write. Excellent work Poet.. Sky~ Sometimes..Miracles are just good people |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
Michael...Another style of writing from you that I really love. The whole poem leaves me wanting more. Thanks for sharing my friend...Paul ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ Paul |
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Temptress
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-06-15
Posts 7136Mobile, AL |
"...destiny distained..." This touches something inside for sure. The thing as a whole is just gorgeous! The last line carries more confidence than I think I would feel at the end. It's also has a bit of sadness.
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
What can I say that hasn't already been said? You are just so darn good! Ditto? ~L |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
J., I’m glad this one reached you on that level. That’s quite the compliment. Michael |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Paul, glad you enjoyed. I think I have a new muse who likes to mess with my structure…what started as using 7 syllable lines in the name of anti-meter just to be, well, me…has now seemed to take over much of what I’ve written lately. Truthfully, I just listen to the voices and write what they tell me. This one is stubborn though. Michael |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Jenn, Funny you picked that line. It’s only the second time I’ve ever used “Distained” in a poem. The first, I had a poem published and they changed distained to distained..and truly changed the meaning of the entire poem. They informed me when I complained that distain was an obsolete word, as if I should have been thanking them for it. For whatever reason, online dictionaries now have distain back in them (they didn’t for a long time and I mourned the loss of what I thought was a great word). Shows you the nerd I am. You do show flashes of that confidence now and again, Jenn. The reason this probably feels sad is that the walking away at the end is more an act of survival than finding what is truly sought. I waited awhile to post this cause I really wanted to come up with a *happier ending for it. In the end, I just left it the way it came off the pen. Michael |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
Thank you, Lori, for you kind words Michael |
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