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Open Poetry #50
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Piggin' Hell
| Open Poetry #50 |
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Piggin' Hell |
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effjayel Senior Member
since 2007-09-30
Posts 1474At the Crossroads of Infinity 
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This was written long ago when man was free to roam the land and slake his thirst at his favourite watering hole. My oasis of choice was called "The Smiling Mule" I based it on an old joke and was going to perform it at an upcoming open mic night. That never happened and as there are no guarantees the UK lockdown may never end, or all the pubs may be financially crippled or Covid 19 will come and get me, I thought I'd put it up here.... Piggin' Hell. .. The last time I was in the Smiling Mule I had seven or eight pints I think And I broke the golden rule To not drive when I'd had too much to drink Then I had this bright idea That I did not need my headlights to see Because the beer goggles obscured my vision And I could not avoid a collision When the creature leapt from behind the tree Frantically I wrenched the wheel But it was too late for that Then I heard it squeal And felt the splat When I got out to see what I did And realised I was in the $h*t I got on the phone to our kid To tell him what I'd hit I said I'm fuc*ed, they are going to throw the book at me They will lock me up and throw away the key He told me not to worry It happens around here all the time But that I should hurry And cover up my crime He said I had to use my loaf By listening to everything he had to say And that I should hide the pigs body in the undergrowth Or I had no chance to get away He promised to be my alibi Saying we had been watching TV all night Then he asked what was making me cry I said I don't know what to do with his motorbike.... "Ignorance is the Enemy...." |
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Paul Wilson
since 2002-07-07
Posts 4711United States |
John...Great story. Had me laughing for awhile. If you ever hit a pig Don't be on a motor bike If you're covered in pig sh*t from head to toe Phone a friend ask him for advice Then go wash up a bit maybe twice ~~To share my poems with you is to share my heart with you~~ |
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