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Open Poetry #50
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Living in Captivity
| Open Poetry #50 |
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Living in Captivity |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere 
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I was a young and tender thing that couldn’t comprehend all hearts weren’t like mine. I thought all guys would be like my brothers were to me, their baby sister. My faith in goodness and rose colored glasses made my capture easy. My tender was easily intimidated my intellect slowly subdued. Focusing on being the best I could and always finding less and less to work with. What few friends I had were forced out by my submission. You don’t walk away from love professed. You must try harder. Yet you know you are supporting the insanity by letting it continue. You live in fear of what happens if and he might just go postal. So you stay and pray. Someday. Mother’s Day to be exact. I woke him up to say I was leaving. He got up and went for his gun but I shoved him back out of the room and in front of our teen aged sons. The cab was waiting and off I went, running for my life. I fled to Albuquerque to my brother’s. I thought I was free. Little did I know the baggage attached to me. I felt sixteen again. In many ways I was because that is how old I was when the captivity began, It is all water under the bridge now and may God have mercy on his soul. Twenty years took its toll. It twisted something deep inside upon my self confidence I cannot hide. I’m not bitter, I’ve come to terms and accepted who I am now with warts, scars, wrinkles and all. LGR(C)2/8/20 |
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Marchmadness Member Rara Avis
since 2007-09-16
Posts 9271So. El Monte, California |
So sorry you had to go through this. I saw my Dad slap my mother a few times as I was growing up and it made me stronger. I vowed that I would never let that happen to me I guess even the worst things happen for a reason. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Thanks for the read Ida. I left that relationship with a lot to learn and a high tolerance for mistreatment. Marriage number two is a whole other story... |
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Michael
Moderator
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-08-13
Posts 7666California |
This one wounds...or at least reflects yours vividly. In truth, we can only be hurt by those we love and trust. "I was a young and tender thing that couldn’t comprehend all hearts weren’t like mine." The baggage lasts a lifetime, sadly, Lori. But I love your testimony and that you bravely conquer each new day. |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Michael, I appreciate the read and your understanding. I have said on more than one occasion that it isn't so much a matter of me living in the past as much as it is the past living in me. ~L |
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