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Open Poetry #49

Rooms by the Weak

Professor Gloom
Member Elite

since 2000-07-23

Posts 3082
of Depression

0 posted 2014-04-13 05:21 PM

It was a room with not much there
At least it was out of the city air,
The next day was warmer
As she stood on the corner,
Sun on her skin, breeze in her hair,

Coffee in hand she made a scan,
To find a place where a singer can,
Hotel lounges or piano bars,
She auditioned before going far,
But sometimes she didn’t please the man.

The night closed in upon her with dark,
Visions and emotions of a swirling gloom,
No job or money just sitting in the park;
Ending the day crying in her room.

Gloom

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2014-04-13 05:35 PM

Deeply unsatisfying is the tone of this one. I have been there where she is although not exactly the same. Unsatisfying as I said, but only because it brought back bad days.

~*~ Love is friendship set on fire. ~*~

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

2 posted 2014-04-13 06:26 PM

effectively emotive 'slice-of-life' realism!

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2014-04-13 08:51 PM

This is like the story line behind a great blues song! I enjoyed this very much!

Lori

miscellanea
Member Elite

since 2004-06-24

Posts 4060
OH

4 posted 2014-04-20 09:27 PM

I like the poetic structure that gave this slice of life such a rendering. A story is told by a master story teller...

Enjoyed.

Be well.

Misc

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

5 posted 2014-04-23 12:31 PM

nice...James

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