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Open Poetry #49
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Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417
In The Mirror

0 posted 2016-12-26 06:11 PM


Love passed by my window
all of five-foot-four

Relish on the table
anyone know the score?

A hellish night in 'Frisco
led me to believe

A tenderloin is tasted
just above the knee

She left without a whisper
in the ear left by the door

I could have loved her better
if I would have loved her more

[This message has been edited by Ron (01-04-2017 11:56 PM).]

© Copyright 2016 BluesyTunes - All Rights Reserved
2islander2
Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825
by the sea
1 posted 2016-12-26 06:29 PM


i think we need time to love someone really,
may be she didn't let you enough time together,
a touching and subtle penning


yann

JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
2 posted 2016-12-26 06:31 PM


Classic last two lines, Blues, and I only have one thing to say to that . . . "Ain't dat da truff."

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417
In The Mirror
3 posted 2016-12-27 12:34 PM


Thank you yann for your sensitive reply.


BTS

...just bein' Bluesy

Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417
In The Mirror
4 posted 2016-12-27 12:37 PM


Thanks JerryPat! It sho' is!  

...just bein' Bluesy

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
5 posted 2016-12-30 07:56 AM


I have read this several times and I like it but I'm kind of at a loss as what to say about it. The line about the relish and the score, put me in mind of a football junkie and they always make me wonder if they are emotionally capable of being that passionate about their mates. It is a sad poem really. ~L
Bluesy Socrateaser
Member Elite
since 2002-11-07
Posts 2417
In The Mirror
6 posted 2016-12-30 08:02 PM


quote:
I'm kind of at a loss as what to say about it
All things considered, you did fine Lori Rhoden.

Thanks for looking it over as you did. As a writer of poetry, one might say that I'm better than some and worse than others. I generally think like that. It helps keep my head the size I like it to be.


BTS


...just bein' Bluesy

DaysofView
Member
since 2014-04-01
Posts 433
Just A Slice Of The Pie
7 posted 2017-01-02 04:39 PM


I like rhyming poetry and this one is good!

I want to die in my sleep like my grandfather...not like the passengers screaming in the back of his car.

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
8 posted 2017-01-09 09:04 PM


I suppose if our goal is Love we will achieve it...if the others goal is Love...James
Boomer Styles
Member
since 2014-03-02
Posts 194
South Side Of Success
9 posted 2017-01-10 03:39 AM


Such as it is. Good title too.

One ladle serves the soup that feeds the mouths of the many.

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