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AshHarring213
New Member
Posts 1

0 posted 2016-11-07 03:51 PM

Hi Everyone! I have been kind of watching this forum for a few months now, but am just now mustering up the courage to share my own work. I have been greatly into slam poetry lately, so I thought I would share one today. I haven't quite figured out how to break slam poetry up in written form yet, so I am typing it out how I say it in my head, hopefully it makes sense!

Drama Queen

I'm not always crying just because I'm in a bad mood.
And I'm not in a bad mood because of something you did, or didn't do.
And just because I'm anxious doesn't mean I'm weak; just because I'm silent doesn't mean I've lost my will to speak.
Even though you love me while I'm walking away from you, doesn't mean I don't feel alone and wish I had someone with me to see it through.
You think you can explain it with your science books and chemical compositions, but all that really explains is that you don't take the time to understand- that just because I tell you that I don't want to live doesn't mean I forfeit my will to survive.
I'm not searching for attention, I just don't understand why my mind is trying to kill my body when my heart just wants to live. How can living be wrong when I want to love every moment? How can loving be wrong when I look forward to every kiss? How is my nature so conflicting, that I can't tell the difference between death and happiness?
The problem is sometimes words can't describe the burden you bury so deep inside. But my silence is misconstrued for distance. So instead of trying to understand, you walk away reasoning that eventually I'll come around.
But my reasoning buries me six feet in the ground.
And I'm surrounded by faces. So I don't understand why I'm lonely, but lonely is just another adjective I throw around to excuse my moodiness.
When I muster the strength to ask for help I'm a drama queen- cause life is not that bad and someone somewhere has it worse than me.
I'm empty and numb and slowly losing myself, but that's OK as long as I do so quietly.
But when I'm crying and begging for help it's not so you'll pay more attention to me. It's because my soul is aching to finally be set free from the torment my mind puts me through.
But I know how insignificant seems to you.
I can see the disapproval in the roll of your eyes as I tell you I'm scared of what's inside my own head. So instead I fake a smile, but just because I'm smiling doesn't mean I'm OK.
I'm not crying just because I'm in a bad mood. And just because I'm anxious doesn't mean I'm dependent on you.
Every morning that I wake up I have to choose, between standing tall at 5 foot 7 or laying 6 feet beneath your shoes.
Just because I say I'm done with life doesn't mean I forfeit my will to live. Just because I'm afraid of my own inner war doesn't mean I'm too weak to get through this.
Because with every breath that I take I defeat a demon that no one else is willing to accept exists.

But I'm just a drama queen...

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2016-11-07 06:08 PM

Great job! Welcome to the blue buffet! Your words really hit home-you could have been my daughter speaking--so I really understand where you are coming from. I know how hard the struggle is. Hang in there, it gets better. Don't waste your time on anyone that can't take the time to understand you. ~L

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

2 posted 2016-11-10 04:39 PM

enjoyed reading this...james

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