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Cari
Member
Posts 411
Englnand

0 posted 2016-07-18 07:03 PM

Curtain up.
*
*

At a desk (centre right) Manny Goldstein is counting a pile of gold coins,

Knock Knock

MANNY hurriedly clears the coins into a leather bag

“Come in why don’t you"

ENTER Stage right
WILLIAM SHAKESPEAR.

MANNY,   "Will, what a pleasure, I was only saying to Rosie the other day, such a long time since we saw our dear old friend".

SHAKESPEAR,   "Cut the cobblers Manny, what about the play I sent you three months ago"?

MANNY.   "Ah you mean the new one, what was it now? I have it here somewhere".
Rummages among a pile of papers.
”Here it is A Midsummer’s Night Scream”

SHAKESPEAR.  "DREAM you prawn, its dream".

MANNY.   "Ah I see it now, the old eyes Will, not what they used to be"

SHAKESPEAR.  "Really, well have you read it"?

MANNY.  "Would I lie to an old friend, of course I have"

SHAKESPEAR.  "Well"?

MANNY.  "I gota be honest with you Will. I mean its not one of you’re usual ones is it"?

SHAKESPEAR.  "So"?

MANNY.  "Bums on seats Will, bums on seats. Look couldn’t you knock out another King play, they always go down well".

SHAKESPEAR. "No, I’m fed up K ings”

MANNY. "Romeo then, they loved that one, the Italian chick what was her name"?

SHAKESPEAR. “ Juliet”

MANNY.    “That’s the one, she was a right scream. When Sid missed his entrance,
Romeo, Romeo wherefore art thou Romeo-----, Romeo, Romeo where the bleedin well are you Romeo.  And when she fell off the balcony, red skirt and no drawers, he, he, he”.

SHAKESPEAR   “It was meant to be a tragedy; I don’t know why I bother, I suppose it was your idea to replace the Montague’s and Capulet’s with the Hetro’s versa the Gays in the fight scene”.

MANNY.  “Yeah, good twist that, we were sold out for three months. Come on Will, another Romeo will be a Gas”.

SHAKESPEAR. "And how do you suggest I raise Romeo from the dead"?

MANNY "What"?

SHAKESPEAR.  "The last act you idiot, Romeo is DEAD.
He has ceased to be! 'he's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'he's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'he rests in peace! 'He’s kicked the bucket, 'he's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!!"

MANNY  "OK, OK What about ‘Son of Romeo"

SHAKESPEAR. "What about Midsummer’s Night Dream"?

MANNY  "It’s about a bunch of fairies Will"

SHAKESPEAR. "So, what’s wrong with fairies"?

MANNY  “Nothing Will, I get on with all sorts but the Rose is in the East End, tough area Will, they don’t go down well over there"”

SHAKESPEAR. “You haven’t even read it have you? They’re not that kind of fairies you moron, there’re real fairies, wings and everything".

MANNY  "Real fairies? Oh no Will No, No, No".

SHAKESPEAR. Snatches up the manuscript

"Right I’ll take it down to Clarence at the Globe, you’ll see, it will be a smash and I’ve got an idea for a follow up too, about a kid who goes to a wizards school".

SHAKESPEAR. Leaves stage left.

Manny bursts into laughter and wipes his eyes “Fairies, Elves, bleedin Wizards, poor old Will, he’s finally flipped.”

Curtain Down.
*
*

I make no apologies for this; I’m answering a request for a play. It needs two actors, any volunteers? Oh, and sorry for the snitch Monty

Redstart
Senior Member

since 2014-05-16

Posts 535

1 posted 2016-07-18 07:27 PM

Brilliant! I once took on a poetry competition with a dear, friend of mine, it had the title: 'Shakespeare's Wastebin.' We had some fun. Example: 'to be or not to be, that is the question?' Became: Hang on, I might as well top myself than suffer all this crap!

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2016-07-18 07:46 PM

Hah! Had me in stitches, Cari, big time . . .

~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~

Ari Squire
Member
Posts 488
In The Phallus Lane

3 posted 2016-07-18 07:47 PM

quote:
"I make no apologies for this"

What a shame Cari. I was planning on asking for one. Another time, perhaps.

Loving Linny Jean is poetry.

JL
Member Ascendant

since 2004-04-01

Posts 6128
Texas, USA

4 posted 2016-07-19 11:56 AM

Very clever. Nice...

JL

Love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul,and with all your mind. Love your neighbor as yourself.
Maranatha!

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