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Open Poetry #49
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When I was young...
| Open Poetry #49 |
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When I was young... |
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Pete_W Member Posts 185 Scotland (UK) |
When I was young... Sea was the sound of growing up, there were no grass sounds then, no songs of wind through maram blades, in sand no pictograms, erased, re-written, carved again just the naming of seas, limpet, barnacle, the leathery purses, like glossy plums, of secret sea anemones and at night to the flicker of a lantern flame, hidden life, near transparent shrimp with stalk-eyes glowing delicately pink like stars you wanted to take home, velvet green crab shapes sidling away into shadow and, revealed now as flowers, anemones glad for the tide. Then, with the wick turned low, in the warmth of your coat, years too big, we’d sit, draw, finger by finger each shape of the sky, Delphinus, Aquila, Pleiades, Moon, dividing the seasons by quarter and month into snowdrop, daffodil, honeysuckle, pear. Sleep would come then and the rocking of a shoulder, like a boat’s lull, would carry me off over fields of winter corduroy, through scents of needled pine, past cows whose night breath hung in the air like mist, distant braying donkeys, and leaning winter coated horses still traced to the earth. May 2016 |
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| © Copyright 2016 Pete_W - All Rights Reserved | |||
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
What a marvelous, fantastic write, Pete. Each and every line screamed . . . POET! . . . I am so impressed. ~ If they give you ruled paper, write sideways. ~ |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
I am surprised that this poem has not been acknowledged by more comments because it certainly deserves to be. A reflection on childhood when observance of the world around us was acute and our imagination was given the right to run free. Dylan Thomas’ poem Fern Hill delivers on the same theme, a ten year old boy whose imagination could turn an apple orchard into an apple town. Quote: And nothing I cared, at my sky blue trades, that time allows In all his tuneful turning so few and such morning songs Of course I am not comparing these two poems like for like, Fern Hill has a far more abstract style plus experimental in the choice of language. But both play with the same theme. Excellent Pete, quite you’re best so far. Cari. |
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BluesSerenade Member Patricius
since 2001-10-23
Posts 10549By the Seaside |
This is pure poetry in every way...wonderful reading Pete. Like a breath of fresh air! |
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Pete_W Member Posts 185 Scotland (UK) |
Thanks Jerry, Cari, and Blues. Cari I've never read Fern Hill so will have to go read it now. Pete |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Pete This is beautiful.I could almost feel the way it was as I read along.Best to you, Jo Perry |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
Hi Pete, Fern Hill is one of my favourite poems but it really comes to life when read aloud. The best rendition by far, is by the welsh actor Phillip Madoc. On YouTube put his name in the search and while you’re on the search page find the ‘Outing’ a short story in two parts read also by Matoc. I heard this on the car radio driving home a few years ago and got so enthralled I pulled into a lay-by to hear the end. I looked for years before I found it again. Tell me what you think. Cari. |
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Pete_W Member Posts 185 Scotland (UK) |
Thanks for the link Cari, listened to both the Phillip Madoc and Richard Burton versions of Fern Hill; both good but I think I prefer the Richard Burton version, particularly the way he reads the ending. Pete |
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Cari Member Posts 411 Englnand |
Yes Burton is the popular version and after all, as with most things, it’s a matter of preference. I’m convinced the best advice you can offer to a newbie who wants to write poetry is read poems. The web is full of poetry and the only cost is your time. Cari. |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
nice to read...james |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
That was wonderful! Your imagery was simply perfection. That would make an excellent storybook. ~L |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
what a wonderful travel in tour words, you makes the sea magical and the skies too, a delightful reafing yann |
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