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Open Poetry #49
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rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA

0 posted 2015-11-14 01:49 AM



Almost There~

Clouds slung low and gray
like bags beneath the eyes
of morning,
and the chilly sky
closes her robe
to the first cold trembling fingers
of Autumn.

Past eye-blink towns,
and a rusted old truck
forever parked in the shade,
while Blues-Traveler plays..
trying to perk morning air,
the perfect partner to coffee
hot and inviting.

Regrets are flung out the car window
once they've been mulled over,
land at the feet of road-side sunflowers
who've heard them all before,
yet they rise above the careless thought-litter
offering grace in yellow-headed hope.

Mundane mile markers
skirt harvested lonely fields,
as one waits patiently at his crossroads,
and the motor hums an imaginary lyric of
"Almost There"...

© J

© Copyright 2015 Jan~ - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2015-11-14 09:15 AM


"skirt harvested lonely fields,"

WoW! What a dynamic line is this one. It causes the mind to wander, reflect and take refuge in it.

. . . and yes! We're almost there . . .

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
2 posted 2015-11-14 09:20 AM


This is wonderful!!!
I love the metaphor you follow perfectly all the way through. You nailed the Midwest scenery. The imagery is great (love the robe)
If this is your first, I can't wait for the next! way to go! ~L

Welcome to the "Blue Buffet"

Margherita
Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236
Eternity
3 posted 2015-11-14 09:28 AM


quote:
Regrets are flung out the car window
once they've been mulled over,
land at the feet of road-side sunflowers
who've heard them all before,
yet they rise above the careless thought-litter
offering grace in yellow-headed hope.


How deeply captivating! Beautiful first offering.

Welcome to Pip, rainyday!

Margherita

jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2015-11-14 07:50 PM


You're not just almost there, but you're definitely there my dear...I just love all the images here, esp. the 1st verse....clouds the eye bags of morning, and I thought I'm the only one with the eye bags.
Mr Martini
Member
Posts 366
Beneath The Line
5 posted 2015-11-15 03:22 AM


"Regrets are flung out the car window"

                Sometimes love, I still think of her...and the $250 fine I was hit with for littering the highway.

She would have loved your poetry as much as I.

Here's to you and here's to me and should we ever disagree, here's to me!

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
6 posted 2015-11-15 03:31 PM


JP, Thank you, glad you liked that line,
your comments do a poet-lady good.

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
7 posted 2015-11-15 03:34 PM


LGR, Pleased you liked, Thank you
for the lovely response.

rainyday J

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
8 posted 2015-11-15 03:36 PM


M, Thank you for the generous reply & warm welcome.

rainyday J

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
9 posted 2015-11-15 03:37 PM


jjote, lol, Those darn eye-bags.
Thank you for the kind reply.

rainyday J

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
10 posted 2015-11-15 03:38 PM


*smiles*..Thank you Mr. M

rainyday J

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
11 posted 2015-11-15 03:43 PM


Hmmmm..not seeing any of my replies to the Poet's who left comments on my Poem.
Pete_W
Member
Posts 185
Scotland (UK)
12 posted 2015-11-15 05:08 PM


The "...roadside flowers..." are great, I'll have to be more considerate when driving
Pete

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
13 posted 2015-11-15 06:17 PM


Oh..ok..there they are ..see them now.
rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
14 posted 2015-11-15 06:19 PM


PeteW, Your comment brought a grin,
Thanks for the read.

rainyday J

Constance
Member
since 2001-07-28
Posts 393
Ohio
15 posted 2015-11-17 06:23 PM


Absolutely love this poem. Margherita and I love the same verse too. Very, very fine work!

smiles,
Constance

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
16 posted 2015-11-17 10:51 PM


even found my rusty old truck in this...james
rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
17 posted 2015-11-18 02:44 PM


Constance, Thank you for the generous reply, glad you liked.

rainyday J

rainyday
Member
Posts 304
Heartland USA
18 posted 2015-11-18 02:46 PM


Yes, that rusty old truck..forever parked
in the shade.
Thanks for reading JM

rainyday J

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