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Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

0 posted 2015-10-10 03:35 AM

Two shadows on a trembling wall
Fingers tracing over curves
Heavy breathing in smoke filled corners
Tongues flickering like vipers

Beads of sweat rolling over skin
Fan blades stirring voices
Rains falling from a darkened ceiling
Raising rivers over levees of doubt

So firm in her resolve
So firm in his resolve

The money went into a charitable trust
She cashed him after his failed rehearsal

Never bet on a loser
Unless you want to win

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2015-10-10 08:41 AM

sultry, provocative and thought provoking...
you play a unique tune for the mating dance.
Way to go! ~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2015-10-10 09:00 AM

Ahhh . . Your way with the English language
is mesmerizing. You seem to be able to mesh
your thoughts together and are creative
enough to put them in astonishing lines of of poetry.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

3 posted 2015-10-10 09:44 AM

Sent you a message, PiP rejected it.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

4 posted 2015-10-10 11:39 AM

Thanks so much Miss Lori and JerryPat!

Miss Lori,

Have I ever told you how much I love the term 'sultry' or how much this little line ~ has it written all over it?

JerryPat,

That is such a compliment from one as established as yourself. I may not blink for a week!

You are so kind.

Listen JerryPat, on another note, I've got this aunt in Pittsburgh...

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

shalisadefa
Member

since 2009-08-13

Posts 114

5 posted 2015-10-10 01:40 PM

your poem brought a smile on my face, made my fantasy run wild, how cleverly written

It's like a tango
slow, engaging, attack and release

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

6 posted 2015-10-10 02:50 PM

Now we're both smiling shalisadefa.

88's Friend

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

7 posted 2015-10-10 05:04 PM

Ha, love the subtleties to this one. Sultry a great word for it, indeed. Love the way how just touching lightly on one little thing, in almost every line here, opens up so much to see Within the readers mind. Not an easy thing to pull off. Very well written.

Michael

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

8 posted 2015-10-10 05:41 PM

enjoyed reading this...james

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

9 posted 2015-10-10 09:28 PM

Many thanks as always Michael and James.

You fellas and everyone here at Pip has made my visit feel warm and welcome.

88's all

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

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