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Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

0 posted 2015-10-06 01:56 AM

Because of what I do and what I wear
You feel its' okay to figure me out

You say I make it look easy
You say I could never have had it hard
Those proverbial roses at my feet
You say you'd slit a wrist to have just one

On and on and on you go
Every night at nine like clockwork
Sitting there waiting in your minefield
A perimeter held with Cuba Libre's

Maybe I won’t do this anymore
Maybe I’ll try to find Rita
I don’t even know where to start
I always think of her when I’m down

...I should have thought more of her when I was up
I should have…I should have…I should have
I should also have died young with the rest
Trouble was they were good and I wasn’t

So my curse is sitting two stools down
Sucking the change out of her slices of lime
I nurse my Lucky before the next set
Maybe I’ll step on a few roses

You can think what you like of it friend
...You've come as far as anyone gets

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

1 posted 2015-10-06 07:58 AM

Another great piece! I like the depth and textures here. You cover a lot of ground with a few well chosen words and the landscape you paint is captivating with the long shadows. ~L

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2015-10-06 08:02 AM

This poem sends me back to the Mickey Spillane era, where women were dames and men stepped on toes with his thoughts and never backed down, both the men and the woman were as tough as woodsman's axe. Very unpolitically correct and said what they really thought instead of sugar coating it. Good job.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2015-10-06 11:25 PM

Like this..."I always think of her when I'm down, I should have thought more of her when I was up." My favorite lines...james

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana

4 posted 2015-10-07 12:47 PM

Thanks so much for your great replies Miss Lori , JerryPat and James!

You know guys, maybe I shouldn't have thought so harshly about her. After all, when you're a 'one-hit blunder' like me, you need to hang on to as many souped-up fans as you can, no matter what they're drinking.

Thanks again!

88's friends

She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

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