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Open Poetry #49

Nirvana

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

0 posted 2015-09-05 11:23 AM

I hover above myself
mentally pacing the dark
in pursuit of the absurd
while day turns to golden haze.

Swallows flit like darting flames
flowers a scatter of paint
pond waters mirror the sky
tinted in rainbow colors.

I will the wind to be still
a frisson of awareness
obliterates fretfulness
death and life just whimsical.

Is such bliss mere shattered silk?
or am I in Nirvana.

@jjote 0905/2015

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2015-09-05 03:24 PM

Loved your wordplay in this one, jjote. You were having fun with it all, I can plainly see.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

jjote
Senior Member

since 2002-12-25

Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada

2 posted 2015-09-05 07:18 PM

Thanks Jerry. This was meant to be an unrhymed sonnet but I don 't know if I achieved that, except for it being 14 lines, each line with same syllables. You're right, I had fun - the words jist ran away by themselves

JamesMichael
Member Empyrean

since 1999-11-16

Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA

3 posted 2015-09-10 12:32 PM

nice writing...james

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