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Open Poetry #49
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s1nfully_1nn0c3nt
Senior Member
since 2003-10-26
Posts 1105
Watertown, NY

0 posted 2015-08-30 08:05 PM


and as you laid
on my side of the bed
I wondered if you
     understood
the foreign feeling I get
when you hold me near
And still remain distant

I miss you
even as you lay
on my side of the bed

-Trina
...because the most powerful words in your life are "I might be wrong"...

© Copyright 2015 TrinaMarie73 - All Rights Reserved
JerryPat2
Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975
South Louisiana
1 posted 2015-08-30 08:23 PM


Tragic. I understand and relate to this sad write. There is nothing more devastating than to lay beside someone who has lost the fire within.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

J.J.thomas
Member
Posts 84

2 posted 2015-08-30 11:29 PM


This poem had so much emotion in such a little space. Wonderful job. I hope things get better for you soon.

latearrival
Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499
Florida
3 posted 2015-08-31 01:07 AM


I think so many can relate. Sad to go through, especially if the other person is a non communicator.best to you, Jo
jjote
Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088
Ontario, Canada
4 posted 2015-08-31 09:59 AM


close but distant strangers...alas it happens to the best of us.
JamesMichael
Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336
Kapolei, Hawaii, USA
5 posted 2015-08-31 09:53 PM


lots of emotion...james
Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere
6 posted 2015-09-01 07:02 AM


What I love about your writing-big punch, little package. You use your words like a scalpel to cut right to the wound. Excellent! ~L
Elizabeth Santos
Member Rara Avis
since 1999-11-08
Posts 9269
Pennsylvania
7 posted 2015-09-08 01:32 AM


Smooth flowing verse
simple yet deep and revealing
I like your style
liz

Ticklefingers
Senior Member
Posts 710
Louisiana
8 posted 2015-10-08 06:28 PM


To find this and bring up again made my day, though it is also distressing to know the suffering that elicits such a writing.

For me, there are two distinct (but not different) poems here. The latter being intended perhaps as a closing thought to the former, and yet both stand alone within the confinement of their pain and loneliness.

JerryPat said it well:
quote:
"There is nothing more devastating than to lay beside someone who has lost the fire within"



88's friend  


She told me "play one for your supper Danny and maybe you'll get breakfast".

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