Open Poetry #49 |
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City by Day, City by Night |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana ![]() |
the night is the corridor of history no, not so much history of legendary people or grand events more so it chronicles the insignificant the overlooked suppressed and unappreciated this, then is the history of vice, human error disorder and fear intoxication and the desire for something better but vainglory and delusion are all that is found in the nights of the long streets the street strips off any appearance of growth where the illusion of freedom is only neon wilderness in a city which contains the accumulated felonies of the past nights that is not an illusion the illusion is the daytime the fantasy which pretend to be the city nighttime reveals the pseudo of the daytime to be a pantomime of safety and reality the street at night what has been hidden comes forth everyone is subject to the rules of chance murderer and victim both afraid at night everyone is naked ©July 16, 2015 / Jerry Pat Bolton ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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© Copyright 2015 Jerry Pat Bolton - All Rights Reserved | |||
Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
This poem is important. Your tone is different. It is more earthy and earnest. It was a little difficult for me to read as there was no punctuation etc. I know you once said you weren't much for going back over a poem. I think this one is special and deserves extra time and attention. It is good as is, don't misunderstand me. Please don't pull it because I made a suggestion. ![]() |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Look back over my free style poems, Lori. I hardly ever use punctuation, even so there are a few commas here. No, I will leave it as it is and thank you for your thoughts on it. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I may give it another look just because of you. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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JamesMichael Member Empyrean
since 1999-11-16
Posts 33336Kapolei, Hawaii, USA |
nice reading...james |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
thanks james ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Jerry I wrote a rather long reply to this but I guess I did not hit send. I love the night and usually chose the late night shifts. I feel more alive at night. Love the softer sounds, even the distant train sounds are softer and more pleasant at night. The late night birds and insects sounds all are all softer and sweeter than during the day. Enjoyed, jo |
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EmmaRose Senior Member
since 2011-03-02
Posts 1376Midwest |
Very cool poem about the changing of the guard and when that guard is let down, anything goes spooky and enchanting all at once |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I, too, come more alive at night, Emma, thank you for reading and commenting on this effort of mine. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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jjote Senior Member
since 2002-12-25
Posts 1088Ontario, Canada |
"where the illusion of freedom is only neon wilderness in a city which contains the accumulated felonies of the past nights that is not an illusion the illusion is the daytime the fantasy which pretend to be the city nighttime reveals the pseudo of the daytime" I have to read this more than once, for all the thoughts you wrote are so starkly striking and true..I only quote the above parts which cry out to me particularly. Non-punctuation doesn't bother me, actually I'd love to write with no such restrictions. Let the reader have free rein on your words. |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I have written quite a few poems which either take place or are about my "two lost decades." Thank you jjote for reading and commenting ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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CastleGuard Senior Member
since 2003-04-30
Posts 760Alberta, Canada |
As it is, Jerry, unfortunately... the external darkness reveals the internal one... CG |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
Unfortunately is the name of that game,CG . . . er . . . unfortunately. Thank you so much for being here. ~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~ |
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