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Open Poetry #49

Toss my Mood

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

0 posted 2015-06-03 02:23 PM

Mirror'd on mire
swamp stain green,
clings my reason to sprout seed.
In conjured moods
I guard loose thought.
grind-stone stand in bold set spot.

Won't move- on stubborn
nor skip, on whine.
Still place my palm
...upon the die.

Blow-kissed for luck,
I roll from tips-
of finger itched by moody fits.

Slow tumble-bump,
green velvet yields-
A push to burden,
yearn flow fills.

Exclamation point,
in shiny hue.
die casts a shadow
'pon my two.

Reworking my 'already burn'
Gone blues, for missing you.

"..But a tyrant spell has bound me,
And I cannot, cannot go.."
~Emily Bronte
'The Night is Darkening Around Me'

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2015-06-03 02:45 PM

Reworking our poems can sometimes put the original out to pasture . . . I looked, but could find nothing resembling "Gone Blues, Tanya, but I have a feeling this reworked version gives a bit more detail to the original, in a good way.

~*~ When they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

2 posted 2015-06-04 09:07 AM

Aww, no worries Jerry, just drownin'
in the blues tunes and missin' my baby..

You are too sweet and always have my thanks!
& too true on the reworking
~T

"..But a tyrant spell has bound me,
And I cannot, cannot go.."
~Emily Bronte
'The Night is Darkening Around Me'

Michael

Moderator

Member Rara Avis

since 1999-08-13

Posts 7666
California

3 posted 2015-06-04 04:14 PM

Reworking your "already burn," ? I have felt that burn, blues or not I think it only gets gotter.

love your ponders, dear.

Michael

devina
Member Elite

since 1999-10-28

Posts 3539
Cali

4 posted 2015-06-15 04:26 PM

Michael- The already-burn for you is so *sweet..also how I get grumpy-pouts on these gone-from-me working dayz..
grrzz to those!
and scalding loves to you
~T

"..But a tyrant spell has bound me,
And I cannot, cannot go.."
~Emily Bronte
'The Night is Darkening Around Me'

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