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Open Poetry #49
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My Buddy Santa
| Open Poetry #49 |
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My Buddy Santa |
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Redstart Senior Member
since 2014-05-16
Posts 535 |
Let me tell you of a fright I had this Christmas While dreaming festive dreams there in my bed Someone slipped in with me, cuddled up He had a big, white beard and he was red He said, it's bloody cold out there, buddy I need to warm my bones, is that ok? What! I thought, ain't that my luck?! I get to meet with Santa, and he's gay! My fears were so misplaced, I'm glad to say He was a topping fellow, that's a fact When he'd warmed himself, we were up adrinking My cracker and my baubles still intact! Well, he could sup a little, could old Santa He polished off my scotch as if 'twas beer It wasn't long before we both were steaming Laughing loudly, full of Christmas cheer As the drinks flowed free, I thought I saw a tear I said, hey buddy, what's the sadness for? He said, my friend, I really do hate Christmas It's not so much a joy now, more a chore I'm sick to death of chimneys and my grotto Of plastic toys and all those stupid games And should I get my hands upon the eegit? Who gave my reindeer awful, German names! And as for elves and all that 'helping' nonsense? They're on the wine and prostrate at my feet Help me out? You really must be joking! They're the laziest of jerks you'll ever meet! The ice upon my sleigh has chaffed my plums My cleaning bill for soot's gone through the roof I'm more black than red and white by morning I'm a wreck, my friend, before you sits the proof Everyone's at parties, getting frisky My todger's blue, forgot where he belongs And as for Mamma kissing Santa Claus? Believe me, that happens just in songs Come on, my friend, I said, it's not so bad You've been laughing, now please don't you retract Of course, he said, you've really made my day Tonight has been a tonic, that's a fact We hugged a parting-friend hug with a choked throat Swore we'd meet again another day He staggered to the door with one, last hiccup(hic) And looking at the chimney, said, NO WAY! |
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JerryPat2 Member Laureate
since 2011-02-06
Posts 16975South Louisiana |
I needed that, Redstart, and you laid it on with good old drunken (scotch) cheer. It was good of you to lend your ear to a dire old Santa and listen to his tales of woe. He left your crib a better Santa! ~*~ When politicians give up on liberty, it falls to poets to preserve it. Or write its epitaph. ~*~ |
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Sunshine
Administrator
Member Empyrean
since 1999-06-25
Posts 63354Listening to every heart |
What Jerry said! |
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Margherita Member Seraphic
since 2003-02-08
Posts 22236Eternity |
Thank you for the smiles! This was great. You just did him justice by wearing his shoes - his boots ! - for a while.  Margherita |
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
And we thought his nose was red from the cold... and apparently it was from just having visited you! Well done! |
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latearrival Member Ascendant
since 2003-03-21
Posts 5499Florida |
Funny dream indeed Redstart Thank you for the giggle. jo |
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2islander2 Member Ascendant
since 2008-03-12
Posts 6825by the sea |
this is so funny really, a poem that says to me, rake care od santa, i didn't know he was gay, the punchline is definitovely great, what a story to tell and to laugh, thanks yann |
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Pilgrimage Member Elite
since 2001-12-04
Posts 3945Texas, USA |
Just a big from me. Love the last line.Nan (Pilgrim variety) |
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