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VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

0 posted 2014-01-31 10:14 AM

I stand
lower by the second
wetter
as a pool surrounds
my feet
a pulling grips me

a sense of needing escape
captures my senses
as I tug each foot
from the grasp
of sand's power;
it's almost a semblance of panic

yet, I come away
exhilarated
for it is a sensation
I enjoy, in memory

©January 31, 2014

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

1 posted 2014-01-31 11:40 AM

Ahhh . . . Sometimes the unexpected, or the mysterious has a definite feeling of excitement even though we are wary. I liked the way you portrayed the fear and the sensation of joy.

~*~ If they give you ruled paper write sideways. ~*~

Kaoru

Member Elite

since 2003-06-07

Posts 3892
where the wild flowers grow

2 posted 2014-01-31 12:03 PM

Fear and excitement kind of go hand in hand when you like the adrenaline. Enjoyed.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

3 posted 2014-01-31 03:05 PM

Thanks, you two. I really miss time on the beach.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

VAS
Member Rara Avis

since 2000-11-16

Posts 7450
Oregon

4 posted 2014-02-01 09:26 PM

Yes, the gripping of sand and water is a succinct memory of the wet beach sand, but that tiny semblance of "quicksand" is quite enough of that reality.

Whether on the shoal or on the shore,
I'll seek the lighthouse evermore.

Margherita
Member Seraphic

since 2003-02-08

Posts 22236
Eternity

5 posted 2014-02-02 06:58 AM

Exhilaration is no doubt a result of salvation. You rendered the suspense in such a powerful way that I gasped in a sudden worry. Quicksand for me is related to very dramatic visions and sensations and serves as a metaphor in many of life's emotions.

Excellent work, dear Virginia.

Margherita

2islander2
Member Ascendant

since 2008-03-12

Posts 6825
by the sea

6 posted 2014-02-02 11:19 AM

this is quite an experience, such emotional even for the reader, you suggest perfectly by words what it can "provide" for the heart and the spirit, thanks a lot

yann

Rex Allen McCoy
Member Elite

since 2000-01-30

Posts 2863
Sippin a Timmy's in London

7 posted 2014-02-02 08:01 PM

descriptive piece with a pull on the dramatic strings too... enjoyed

Rex

EmmaRose
Senior Member

since 2011-03-02

Posts 1376
Midwest

8 posted 2014-02-09 07:53 AM

I liked the use of the medium of sand, mixing with water and sun can evoke a wealth of emotions

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