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Open Poetry #48

Obituary

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2012-04-21 05:39 AM

shadowpoet sups from curdled
misery in places which disturb his peace of mind
his life bubbles and boils
with acceptance of ill-begotten wretchedness
even the sky has turned into itself
and pukes a rain of hailstones as big as . . . you wouldn't believe
as shadowpoet writes Poe-influenced
blood-trickled words, evermore, evermore
the swamp where shadowpoet sits and pens the obituary
of what used to be
is alive with earthwoman's presence
her storm-tossed hair
her smile wet
the dreamland that was surge into shadowpoet's thoughts
like mother's blue-veined milk
tasting like unsympathetic vinegar drool
he dangles on the edge
of the cackling, melancholy bayou of the soul
he is needing someway
somehow through all that has transpired
if only just for a very few minutes could he
lay his head on her needy

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

1 posted 2012-04-21 05:53 AM

Jerry
You have this ability to dig into the cold of the dark and come out with some warmth and beauty.....Quite a gift really.
Well done and the metaphors are excellent with some touching the outside limits of hyperbole status.....

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2012-04-21 06:00 AM

Thanks, Eric, I appreciate the kind words. Yes, I admit I live of the edge of the hyperbole status,

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2012-04-21 12:26 PM

Yeah, what Eric said!

Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2012-04-21 12:34 PM

Yeah, what I said to Eric.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

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