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Open Poetry #48
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The S T D of Life
| Open Poetry #48 |
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The S T D of Life |
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Daddy Goose38 Member
since 2010-09-04
Posts 430obama's a rice paper tiger |
The Disease of Life (maybe they will read it this time if I give it a different title) There is a terrible disease afflicting the whole world. It is a disease everybody talks about yet nobody recognizes. And that is the disease of Life. Here are some disturbing facts about Life: Life causes pain. So if you feel pain that is an indication That you have been infected with Life. Life causes misery, So if you feel miserable some times, That is another symptom you are seriously ill with Life. Life causes strange thoughts and crazy desires. So if you have crazy thoughts and strange, unhealthy desires, You have contracted a virulent strain of Life And should go to a clinic immediately. The disease of Life is universally fatal. Life has a mortality rate of … errr … 110 percent. All patients who get Life are going to die. Do not trivialize the threat to public health Caused by this massive outbreak of Life. Never forget that if you contract Life, You are going to die. So see after your affairs right now Before Life kills you. Many researchers all over the world Are working frantically to find a cure for Life. So far, there have been some seven billion cases of Life worldwide. There are many theories about why Life is so widespread. One is that Life is transmitted via childbirth from parents. Although this has never been proven, It hasn’t been disproven either, Since the researchers are themselves afflicted, Which means objective studies can not be done by them, Because experimenter biases just creep right in. Only dead people have done objective studies on Life, though this has yet to be demonstrated. But because dead people never release their findings, Or al least haven’t released any so far, They cannot be used to either prove or disprove anything. Patients with Life often get secondary diseases Because their immune systems are greatly weakened. For instance, some patients get siblings, Children can get mumps and also bumps. While millions of children get bumps. Bumps is not just a child-hood disease. Many adults get bumps too. Although bumps isn’t really infectious, You can get bumps form somebody else who has it. You can also get bumps from chairs and tables and other furniture and walls. You can even get bumps from falling down on the ground. Oops … I’m rambling … Okay, … so anyway … I was talking about Life, … and the findings of researches. It has been discovered that dead people Have the astonishing property of being immune to Life. They are, in fact, immune to all illnesses and diseases that plague the living. Scientist posit that dead people Have some antibodies against Life, And that perhaps from them a vaccine could be prepared. Dead people can attest to the dangerious lethality of Life, And can tell you they once had Life before they died. What? … you mean you haven’t talked to a dead person? So how do you know it won’t work? … They have discovered the nasty, little organism that causes Life. It has the scientific name Inagada da Vida. Under a powerful, Brownian Motion microscope, It looks like a cross between a Moby’s strip and a 57-sided quadrotic triangle. This strange bacterium has the peculiar property of being impossible to kill. Some say that Life is transmitted by sex. This has yet to be disproven. But since this will be the only Life we’ll have, Let’s infect each other in carousal and in joy And give the unborn children we will have together The gift of Life. |
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| © Copyright 2012 Daddy Goose38 - All Rights Reserved | |||
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Lori Grosser Rhoden Member Patricius
since 2009-10-10
Posts 10202Fair to middlin' of nowhere |
Interesting hypothesis...but I think you have been brewing something on your bunson burner and you had one beaker too many and your goose is pickled LOL! Lori  |
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jwesley Member Rara Avis
since 2000-04-30
Posts 7563Spring, Texas |
I am heavily infected with the "Inagada da Vida" virus. Especially my ears, and it gets so loud sometimes, my head throbs and booms, and my body twitches and jerks. No cure I've found yet, but beer helps with mellowing the symptoms some . . . Enjoyed this...my friend!! Oops, I feel and attack coming on . . . and I fear it's gonna be the looooong version!!! j. |
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Juju Member Elite
since 2003-12-29
Posts 3429In your dreams |
With a title like that I had to read it. -Juju |
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ethome Member Patricius
since 2000-05-14
Posts 11858New Brunswick Canada |
Tis so true, no one gets out of this one alive........ I'm totally infected. Be bop a lula she's my baby Be bop a lula I don't mean maybe That's life she's my baby. Eric true love never looks after it's own interests |
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icebox Member Elite
since 2003-05-03
Posts 4383in the shadows |
This obviously was a lot of work. All I can say is that it is VERY funny and much appreciated. |
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katahdin Senior Member
since 2010-07-01
Posts 1196ME. In the Shadow of the Mt. |
I like the new title! Kat >^..^< |
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Startime1955 Senior Member
since 2012-04-22
Posts 1072Alberta, Canada |
LOL...I absolutely love this poem...it brought laughter and smiles that will help me endure life...wonderful |
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