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JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

0 posted 2012-04-17 05:45 AM

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the curvature of the aloneness
of the frosty room
grows smaller and smaller
the room's frostiness is real
never mind the spring-like weather outside
I cannot remain here
alone, with worry on my mind
worry
that's why I'm alone
fagitaboutit
don't really want to go there
but I can't stay here
as I said . . .
where shadows formed by the candles
point obscure fingers
accusing me
I make it as far as the edge of the swamp
before I scurry back
like a rat running from something big
wanting to eat it
the corner of the alone room
has shrunk
since my aborted walk (escape?)
I find it difficult to breathe
I see her face
she is crying and therefore
I cry
silently I huddle here in the alone room
where the things that live here
want to devour me

©April 4, 2012 / Jerry Pat Bolton

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

[This message has been edited by JerryPat2 (04-17-2012 06:16 AM).]

secondhanddreampoet
Member Ascendant

since 2006-11-07

Posts 6394
a 'Universalist' !

1 posted 2012-04-17 08:06 AM

interesting 'write' ...

great match of visual image to the written ones.

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

2 posted 2012-04-17 08:08 AM

Thanks, Bruce, I appreciate the thoughts.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Lori Grosser Rhoden
Member Patricius

since 2009-10-10

Posts 10202
Fair to middlin' of nowhere

3 posted 2012-04-17 08:13 AM

your imagery is so dark and cold it is hard to hear...

sounds like you could use a hug my friend.

Lori

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

4 posted 2012-04-17 08:16 AM

Yep. I could. Thanks, Lori.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Nicole
Senior Member

since 1999-06-23

Posts 1835
Florida

5 posted 2012-04-17 08:19 AM

What is so terribly frustrating, I think (well for me)...is that there are so many of these "alone rooms"...I have one, you have one, so many others have them - you literally could have been sitting inside of my head just now; but, its still an alone room. So many parallels and not a single line that touches. I suppose that is what poetry is for, it lets us know that we're not as alone as we feel sometimes...

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

6 posted 2012-04-17 08:22 AM

What a wonderfully positive reply to my dismal poem, Nicole. Thank you for that, it shed some light in this dark room.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

ethome
Member Patricius

since 2000-05-14

Posts 11858
New Brunswick Canada

7 posted 2012-04-17 11:27 AM

Vivid imagery!
Dark but appealing to the thought processes.

I love the Donnie Brasco line in the middle.
Thought I could hear Al Pacino saying it.

Thought evoking to say the least.

Great work.

Eric

true love never looks after it's own interests

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

8 posted 2012-04-17 12:03 PM

Pacino. One of the best. Unlike De Niro and a few others he doesn't seem to have allowed his fame to make him think his stuff don't stink.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Marchmadness
Member Rara Avis

since 2007-09-16

Posts 9271
So. El Monte, California

9 posted 2012-04-18 04:36 AM

Well, you made us all think of our own "alone" room with this one, Jerry.
Now there's a little shaft of light in that room.
Ida

MICHELMAS
Member

since 2012-02-15

Posts 305
Lancashire England

10 posted 2012-04-18 05:37 AM

you just need someone to open the door

Michael

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

11 posted 2012-04-18 05:38 AM

We all have an alone room, I'm thinking, Ida. If that shaft of light can find its way in there is hope for us all. Thank you for being here.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

12 posted 2012-04-18 05:49 AM

Thank you, Michael, and I know you are right about needing someone to open that door.

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

Spiros Zafiris
Senior Member

since 2002-10-20

Posts 982
Canada

13 posted 2012-04-20 09:15 AM

..bravo Jerry..!..you've reached
the heights with this one..the place
where you can't get any higher.>>spiros
~~

JerryPat2
Member Laureate

since 2011-02-06

Posts 16975
South Louisiana

14 posted 2012-04-20 09:48 AM

Thanks, Spiros, still we have to strive for higher, don't we?

~*~ If they give you lined paper, write sideways. ~*~

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